Is insanity genetic?

[aisalynn]

So I came home, because apparently I took it upon myself to leave, my mother didn't kick me out of the house (what utter bullshit) and if I didn't come home everything I owned would be burned in the field.

So here I am.

I've been cleaning up the mess in my room for two days now. It was really, really bad. My art was ripped from the walls and shredded, notebooks filled with my writing and poetry from highschool were torn apart and scattered, the drawers of my dressers were pulled out and dumped, my books were all over the place. I even found my grandmother's bible in a crumpled mess at the bottom of the pile. And the book case? Destroyed.

There's glass everywhere. And I think I have shards in my hands and feet still.

My dad keeps going on about how he's sure she feels real bad about it, but yesterday when she came home and saw my childhood piggy bank sitting broken on the table (my little sister was going to try to super glue it for me, to make me feel better. She's so sweet.) my mother dumped all the change out, took the money and threw it away.

Yeah. She's real remorseful over the whole thing.

Today is all about keeping mom happy apparently. My dad is going around talking in undertones about doing the laundry for her, and making sure to smile when she is around and not spending too much time watching TV or on the computer and make sure we watch out attitudes, and really Sarah, I know she was wrong to do what she did, but you just need to be the bigger person and swallow it blah blah blah. She's spoken to me twice today. Once to ask what did I think I was doing on the computer ("Writing." was my very short answer) and to ask if I had finished packing. ("No. Too busy cleaning.") Other than that we are both doing our hardest to pretend that the other person doesn't exist.


But during all this I have still managed to write some. This J2 story is past 7000 thousand words now, which makes it the longest one-shot story I've ever written. (Yay!) I'm still not finished with it though, and I seriously need a beta. Anyone interested?

Comments

[slaymesoftly.livejournal.com]

You are going to move out of there, aren't you? You mother seriously needs help, and if your father isn't going to be supportive (and see that she gets it), it's just going to happen again. And again. It's all very well and good to be the bigger person, etc., but at some point you need to look out for yourself. If nothing else, just living with a time bomb like that is going to too stressful.

[aisalynn.livejournal.com]

I move out on the seventeenth. I got an apartment with two other girls I know from college, the only problem is, this whole third year in college thing depends on my mother agreeing to co-sign the loan, so I have to make nice for two more weeks.

[pfeifferpack.livejournal.com]

Good luck with keeping your patience. Glad you are moving out. Still think your dad needs to push her to get help that she clearly needs.

{{hugs}}
Kathleen

[cordykitten]

Oh my... I think you can't move out quickly enough. I forgot how long it would be but I've read it in your comment now. Only 7 days....

[aisalynn.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Those days are going to seem like forever.

[faithsummers80.livejournal.com]

Honey, get your own apartment now.

[aisalynn.livejournal.com]

Done. :) I'm moving out on the seventeenth.

[foreverxkisses.livejournal.com]

She should be on meds. It looks like she really needs some mental help and something to keep her levels in check!

I'm glad you'll be out of there soon. Good luck for the next two weeks anyway.

[aisalynn.livejournal.com]

She's on plenty of meds. Thyroid, anxiety, I think she was on prosac at one point, and apparently she's been seeing a therapist--though this is the first I've heard of it--and I just don't care. My dad has been using that as an excuse for her for years and I just think the whole things is ridiculous. Thank god I'm moving out soon.

[ophelia-winters.livejournal.com]

I just facepalmed again. Things like this frustrait me so much, I just wish there was something I could do to help. :( It's just not right! I cannot believe how well you taking this. I really can't. You must have some amazing strength.
I'm glad you're moving out soon. You need to get away from her, or she really needs to get some serious help. Because she honestly shouldn't be around you guys if she's that unstable. I hope she doesn't give you too hard a time during your wait to move.

[angearia.livejournal.com]

7 more days. And she better not pull anything about co-signing for school. But regarding that - couldn't your dad do it even if she decides to meltdown?

It sounds like hell, honey. I've had screaming matches with my mom before, too, and I actually don't talk to her anymore. My friends who do know her don't talk about her unless I bring her up, but they agree she's cuckoo for cocoa puffs.