aisalynn | Entries tagged with real life

I'm an aunt! My little nephew was born 3:28 this morning. I still haven't seen him, cause they are still cleaning up the gook and gore from him and the rest of the room.

Apparently, once my sister reached ten centimeters and the doctor came in, she barely even had to push before he came out wailing. Afterwards my sister apparently was like, "already?"

I didn't see any of it, once they started talking about calling in the doctor I hightailed it out of their and curled up in waiting room. I'd already seen enough to convince me that I want to adopt, if I ever want children at all.

The rest of my family is here. Got to go.

Tags:

family,
real life

The clock on this computer says 4:19 am, though really its only about eleven thirty. Which means I've been at the hospital eight and a half hours.

My sister is having her baby.

Or at least she will in like, twenty more hours or so. First time giving birth plus the baby being in the posterior position apparently equals a very long, miserable labor. Not so great for her.

Or the rest of us really, those hospital chairs are very uncomfortable, still probably not as uncomfortable as my sister is at the moment though. She looks absolutely miserable.

Good thing I brought my computer with me. My laptop can get internet here, but unfortunately certain sites (most of my favorite ones) are blocked. Including livejournal actually. I am typing this at the moment at a public computer in the waiting room. I got seriously bored and needed to walk around a bit. Unfortunately there is nothing to do at a hopsital, so I thought I was type this up.

Still rather bored.

On the plus side, I've finally finished ripping all the video clips I need for my Buffy fanvid. I've spent these long hours working on it, while my family has constantly tried to look over my shoulder and watch, which is really annoying.

I so need a better program than Windows Movie maker to edit programs in. I am seriously getting frustrated with all the freezing and audio problems.

I hope Sis has her baby soon, if I miss class tomorrow I fail the class, and so far no one seems inclined to take me back to campus.

Current Mood: cranky

Tags:

family,
real life

I swear, this loan shit is going to drive me insane. I mean it. Any more of this crap and this time next year you'll find me as a long time resident of the loony bin. So my mom totally screwed up the forms for the last loan, because she accidentally reversed two digits in her social security number, giving her the credit report of someone else. A bad credit report apparently, since we were denied. And that loan company just didn't want to deal with straightening it all out. So here we are, doing everything over again. Again again. This is the third fucking time I've applied for a loan in these past two months. Last night I finish up the loan application, go to the webpage to send it and what do I need? An electronic signature. Well, that would be fine if the electronic signature didn't require me to open up a fricking .pdf file.

For some reason, despite the fact that I have downloaded an Adobe Reader program, my computer still tries to open .pdf files with Adobe Acrobat 8, which I don't have and which I don't want to buy. Now, I've worked around this before, if I save and download the file to my computer and open it with my own Reader, it works fine. The only problem was that the loan company's website had their files freaking embedded and I couldn't download it. So I couldn't sign the freaking form.

I was so frustrated.

Then, my parents called me, because they couldn't finish their co-signer application until I had finished my application. My dad seriously rips the phone away from my mother and starts screaming into the phone about how this is all my fault and how I'm not going to get an education and it wasn't his fault and how they weren't going to help me dig my way out of this mess if all I do is lay on my ass and write all day, instead of finishing my loan application like I said I would. Which of course I did except for that damn signature.

And you know, its so funny about how they sit there and yell at me about doing my part, when I had to do all of there forms for the past two applications, and how it took Dad three whole weeks to get me a simple work reference. Three weeks! And they go on about how they can't do everything for me. *rolls eyes*

Anyway, my mom finally got the phone away from my dad and I had to walk her through signing the application for me over the phone. You know, giving her all my information and my screen name and password and the correct spelling for everything and telling her what links to click when all the while I have no idea what exactly she is looking at on the screen... Oh yeah, that was a whole lot of fun, let me tell you.

I just hope this works out. *prays that it does*

On a side note, I have been ripping parts of my friend's Buffy dvds to made fanvideos with. Spike/Buffy moments to be specific. I've never done it this way before, all my Doctor Who videos were made from clips I had downloaded off the internet. This way makes better quality, but takes up a lot more time and space.

But its so much fun to speed up the video with the encrypting program and watch all of the intense Spike and Buffy moments acted out by what sounds like the Chipmunks. :D

OH! On another side note--House was AMAZING last night! I mean, just beautiful. We found out how House and Wilson met! And the funeral scene! And the ending! I'm glad my roommate wasn't here, or she would have thought I was insane with the amount of squeeing/squeeling/jumping up and down/crying that I did.

That was seriously like, the best episode. Ever.

Current Mood: aggravated

Tags:

Funeral was today. It went well, I suppose you could say. As well as any funeral could go. People showed up, most of whom I didn't know but pretended to be interested in anyway, "Sunrise, Sunset" was played in the background--a cheesey instrumental version done on the harp--and I couldn't help but wonder if anyone else got that that song was actually for a wedding, the sermon was long and very generalized, all cliches about life and humanity and being one with one another, and the funeral home director was kind of creepy. In an overly cheerful, very strange laugh kind of way.

But at least he gave us a discount.

You know, the more I think about it, the more I think I want to be cremated. I just don't like the idea of my body being put on display for everyone to see/touch/cry over. I don't know, I guess I was just never one to look at the casket and say, "Oh, they look so pretty. Just like they were sleeping." No, I would look at the stiff fingers and still shoulders and think, "they look dead." But the whole cremation thing probably wouldn't go well with my family, so I doubt I'll ever mention it (not like I'm going to die soon anyway, and besides, what will it matter to me when I do?)

These thoughts are probably getting a little too morbid, I should move on.

I missed a lot of school these passed few days. Had a group project I had to bail on, which I feel bad for, I'm not usually one to leave a whole lot of work for others. Also missed a surprise quiz in my biology lab that I can't make up. Great. Now lets add on a biology test, an informative speech to write, and my big ass spanish assignment, and I'm just drowing in crap. Yay.

Finally was able to watch the first two episodes of this season of Heroes (thanks to my writers meetings, I have to miss them and then watch them on line), and I have to say, it's looking better already. I'm excited. :) Oh, and last weeks House episode.... wow. I don't think the show could get anymore gay if House and Wilson were making out on the screen. Seriously. And Boston Legal!!!! Made me happy. I think that is the show I am most excited about, though I am sad this is its last season. :(

Note to Flist: You guys are awesome. Seriously. I can't tell you how much it made me feel better to get back on LJ today and read all your guy's comments. Totally made my day like, a million time better. Thank you. *huggles flist*

Current Mood: blah

Tags:

real life

Mom called today with the news that my aunt died. I knew she was in the hospital because of a heart attack, but all I've been hearing is how well she was doing, how she was talking and laughing and how she was going to go home soon, and now I get a phone call about how she is dead. And because I'm here in Muncie I didn't even get to visit her with everyone else.

I feel a little blindsided. All this time mentally preparing myself for my grandmother to die and now I'm going to a funeral for Aunt Joan. Who always had lemon drops in her purse and angel figurines in her house and who took my crappy junior high poetry to her church so she could brag on me, so proud that I was a writer.

And I didn't even get to see her.

Now add to that that one my liitle sister's best friends, a kid I've known for years, tried to commit suicide a few days ago, and has been missing since he got out of the hospital, and no one has been able to find him, and I just want to pull the blanket over my head and stay in bed.

Current Mood: numb

Tags:

real life

Today has been a very bad day. I'm shakey and nervous, my face is puffy and I serously need to calm down.

I was denied the loan.

The stupid bank dragged out the process for months and now I'm partway through the semester, already owe two thousand dollars to the school and I don't have the money. Not to mention the sixteen thousand dollars I already owe for my first year of college which means nothing if I don't finish school.

I'm freaking out. A bit. Had what seemed to be a minor panic attack when I was on the phone with my friend. She's gonna come over later and we're going to go out. She says she's "going to do her goddamn best to cheer me up." Bless her.

I have no more classes... I think I'm just going to listen to some Simon and Garfunkel and read fanfiction until she gets here... and you know, keep breathing.

*breathes*

Current Mood: anxious

Tags:

real life,
school

New school year, and a new lunch staff at the grill/grocery downstairs and for some reason the fries are so much better than they were last year, like amazing. And for some reason, though they have run out of almost everything else, they have plenty of fries, which is a complete change from last year, when they were always low on them.

I find myself wondering if there just might be giant, ugly bats sleeping in the storage closets downstairs...

But then, I don't feel any smarter. (sadly)

...maybe I should lay off the DW for a while...

Current Mood: silly

Tags:

So, tonight me and

crushingpretty went to our college's first "Writer's Community" meeting. I was looking forward to it, expecting it to sort of be how it is here, on livejournal. You know, taking enjoyment in other's writing, and in exchanging ideas and prompts and challenges and giving each other advice...and I've always found the writing community here on lj to be fairly warm and welcoming, and I was hoping it would be the same for this "Community."

Well, it wasn't, not really.

I just found many people there to be... I don't know, pretentious. I mean, the way they spoke and acted, it was like, because we are writers we are supposed to feel emotions different than other people, to find special meaning in things like dead leaves and road kill (one guy really did read a poem for like, twenty minutes, that was about his fixation on a dead squirrel that lasted for nine months). Not to say, that one can't find meaning in these things, but it was like, writers find them beause "normal" people can't. Like we are somehow deeper, because we like the written word.

And, I don't know, I've just never believed that. That artists, writers, musicians are somehow more deep, or more spiritual than everyone else by rule. Nor do I feel that if a poem or story is so complicated that it you can't understand it, it automatically makes it good, that if you pile on so many metaphors and images and seemingly random thoughts, that it will be striking, and meaningful. Maybe it's just me, but I've always thought that a good writer takes common, but complex emotions and ideas that many people unknowingly share, and clarifies them somehow, making people go, "Oh! That is exactly right! That is exactly how I feel, and yet I never thought of it that way!" I've always thought a good writer creates a connection with other people, rather than searching for something that is "deep" or "different" and throwing lots of crap on it to make it seem complicated and out of reach, just so you can feel superior to everyone else.

Am I being silly? Should I feel as dissapointed as I do?

In any case, it made appreciate a lot of the writers here on the net. 'Cause I think its great that we just post stuff up here for people to read because we know they share the same love for writing/reading/shows/characters that we do. That we can share ideas and criticisms, and do little games like drabble tag and rpgs and fanfic memes, and just really enjoy writing without all the serious I-am-a-writer-therefore-if-you-read-my-stuff-you-are-looking-into-my-soul stuff.

So, coming back I was a little miffed, and somehow I ended up writing some poetry for the first time in like, years. It was written pretty fast, and is probably really crappy, but it's sort of my response to the meeting, in a sort of mocking way, I suppose... I don't know. It's probably crap. My poetry always was. But hey, at least I did something original! Haven't done that in a while.

( Listen )

Current Mood: disappointed

Tags:

[Error: unknown template qotd] The Doctor, no question about it. It doesn't matter if it's Nine or Ten, I just know that if I was with him I'd never get bored on the island, we'd probably find some weird alien or supernatural thing to investigate/ save the world from, and if he had the TARDIS, I wouldn't be stranded. (Whether or not I'd actually want to leave the island is another matter.)

---

I'm bored and at the library again, waiting for my next classes to start. I have Communication and my English class later today, the communication being the small lab thing, rather than the lecture to 500+ people. Which was taught by a woman with an extremely high voice in a hot pink dress suit and like, six inch black heels, who spent the last half othe class talking about her three kids and all their athletic accomplishments.

It was not fun.

Still haven't gotten my books yet, having issues with the loan. I wish all of it would just hurry up, I'm getting kind of anxious.

Current Mood: bored

Tags:

Classes started today. I've only gone to one so far, my Bio 100 class, and I think it'll be a good one, the Professor seems cool. I've been trying to register for more classes since I only have 12 credit hours right now, thanks to the English department dropping two of the classes I was signed up for. *rolls eyes* Unfortunately, everything is either full or clashes with my schedule. I'm rather annoyed. I'm paying for freaking 18 credit hours and only taking 12... ugh. I'll just have to keep trying before this week ends. Hopefully people will drop the classes I need so I can sign up.

My communications class starts in half an hour. It's so big its actually held in a small theater--500 students I think. Which is fine with me, I like lecture classes, easier to remain anonymous. After that I have my English class, which is sure to be small and intimate, which can either be a really really good thing, or a really really bad thing depending on the professor. It would really suck if the only class that actually applied to my major was a bad one. I guess I'll just have to see how it goes. *fingers crossed*

Current Mood: frustrated
Current Location: Library
Current Music: Once Soundtrack

Tags:

real life,
school

Moved back into the dorm today. That wasn't fun. I was already tired from lack of sleep so moving all my crap up eight flights of stairs really wore me out. Not too mention the fact that it was only my dad helping me, and since we had a huge fight last night, things were a little...strained between us.

My relationship with my parents was so much better when I only saw them every other weekend.

I guess things should get better now.

Still watching Buffy. I'm not as upset about Giles getting fired as I was. Thanks to this Wesley character the dynamic between Giles and Buffy has shifted a bit. I like it. :)

...Maybe I should get me a Buffy icon if all my posts are going to include something about it now.

Current Mood: exhausted

Tags:

This morning, just a few minutes ago, my dad walks from his room and into the hallway. I hear him gasp, land against the wall and start making these half gasping, half moaning noises as he limps his way to the kitchen. I throw my computer down on my bed and run out into the kitchen.

Now, I know my dad isn't healthy. He worked for years at a factory, destroying his body (broken leg, useless knee, misplaced hips, bad back), smoked so much that his lungs are terrible and he can barely breathe (still hasn't quit, despite what my mom thinks) and he and my mom are always making these little comments about what's going to happen when he's gone, like he won't be here much longer. And ever since my uncle died suddenly from a heart attack a few years ago (he had the same job my dad did), one of my worst fears is that, like my cousins Christina, I might not have a dad to walk me down the aisle when I get married.

So here I am, scared out of my mind in the kitchen, and my dad is sitting in the kitchen chair, moaning about his toe. He tripped over the dog and hurt it, you see. Think's it's broken. And he's moaning about how he wish's he could die.

"I wish I could die," he says. "Leave this world. I'm sick of it and everything in it."

I'm a little pissed off. Here I am, completely freaked out and worried something serious has happened, and he's talking about wanting to die.

He goes into the family room, and I get a baggie with ice. I practically throw it in his lap and then stand behind the couch, trying to calm down. ("God has turned his back on me, I know it," moans my dad.) Out of the corner of my eye I see something brown on the floor. I look over, and there it is: a robin, not even full grown, that the cat dragged in.

It's still breathing.

It's leg keeeps twitching, and it's whole body moves with the breaths, like it's gasping for them, like it took everything it had in it to keep breathing, keep living.

As I stand over it I remember a poem I heard from a movie once:

"I never saw a wild thing feeling sorry for itself
A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough
Without ever having felt sorry from itself."

It seems appropriate.

Current Mood: pissed off

Tags:

So. I've realized something: I've been writing fanfiction for years, and I have it spread out all over the place. I have them scattered across different communities, on several different websites, on ff.net, but I don't have them all in one place. And I should, shoudn't I? I think I should.

So, I'll be randomly posting old fics of mine, tagged under fanfiction and the fandom they're from.

News from real life: our basement flooded. I mean, like a foot of water across the whole thing, destroying the carpet, the dry wall, the furniture the boxes of christmas decorations, baby clothes, books, movies... all of it. First time it flooded in fifteen years and the power hadn't even gone out. The sub-pump just stopped working. For days we've been lugging furniture and sodden carpet and padding from upstairs and outside. Tomorrow (make that today), we'll be getting a dumpster to put it all in.

This has not been fun.

On a happier note, I've just realized that since my camera uses a SD memory card I can skip the annoying Easy Share program and import pictures directly onto my computer. Now if only my camera would all the time. Life isn't perfect, right?

Current Mood: tired

Tags:

Wow. So here I am, laying in bed, watching House on my computer at five o'clock in the morning, and suddenly everything starts to shake--my bed, my windows, my mirrors...

An earthquake. Here in Indiana.

Well thats a first for me.

At least it wasn't too bad, I didn't have to hide under the bed or anything. It was enough to wake several of the girl in my dorm however, they're all standing in the halls freaking out and calling people. Apparently there's a blood red moon in the sky too. I thought about mentioning how a red moon and earthquakes are supposed to be signs of the end of the world in the bible. But considering their state of excitement they would probably take me seriously and start to freak out more.

The news says the earthquake was felt all over Indiana. Lots of people calling in and stuff. Apperently it came from Illinois, on a scale of 5.4--a "moderate" earthquake says the news. Hmmm..

Current Mood: hungry

Tags:

real life

Well, my mom probably won't think about adopting another kid anymore, cause not only is Salena pregant, but Christina is too. Both of them! Within a week apart! Same thing happened when they got engaged. *shakes head* Neither of them are incredibly happy about it, unplanned as it was, but that'll change once the shock wears off.

Christina is planning on moving back up here pretty soon now that she is pregnant. Thats good. I've missed her since she moved, even if she really ticked me off tonight, when she dragged me out of the auditorium at the end of Jacob's play before I could even say "hi" to him or anything. *mutters* But at least this means that the musical is over and I can actually talk to him now.

Now I just need for the semester to be over and I can relax.

Ugh. I have four essays I need to write before Tuesday. This english class is gonna kill me.

Current Music: Hairspray

Tags:

real life,
school

Right now I am so bogged down with school projects and essays and exams and dress rehersals and performances... I just want to fall over. Thank god next week is spring break. Too bad I have two projects and an essay due i(n just one class!!) before it comes and I'm going to keel over from the workload.

I've had no time to write. I mean, other than all the papers I've been doing for my english class--two a week. *groans* Writing just isn't fun when you have to do it over the most dry, circular text book ever written. I did manage to write one small ficlet. A Star Trek one, based around the character McCoy. I have some ideas for more stories, but they'll have to wait. Maybe during spring break I can write them, as well as get started again on my Heroes fic and my Tin Man fic... *sigh* I can't wait for this semester to be over.

Title: Do Not Weep.
Character: McCoy
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek, the characters used in this fic, or the poem, which belong's to Stephen Crane.
Summary: McCoy drinks alone.

Author's Note: This story is the first part in what will hopefully be a collection of drabbles and ficlets based on Stephen Crane's "War is Kind and Other Lines."

( Do not weep, maiden, for war is kind. )

Tags:

I have the flu.

It was diagnosed when I went to the doctor today. Never having the flu before, I was a little surprised when they said they were going to stick a giant Q-tip up my nose. That is how they test for Influenza. With a Q-tip. Up the nose.

I feel violated.

Seriously though, my nose was the only thing that wasn't bothering me. and now, it won't stop burning. Well, thanks, Doc.

I'm at home now, because I'm so infectious I can't be at the dorm or any classes for a week. I told my mom I wanted to watch Outbreak because even though I am completely miserable, watching people die from a disease where you bleed out of every orface in your body would make me feel like my life wasn't so bad. Instead she find a movie about the outbreak of a very bad Influenza strand.

I don't think she got the point.

Current Mood: sick

Tags:

real life

Alright, I'm sure I'm not paranoid now. I just dragged myself out of bed to the floor bathroom, sure that I was going to vomit all the mucus currently taking residence in my stomach, and do you know what I find? All the bathroom stalls had been locked. Yeah, 'cause that's so effing funny.

I considered being a good person and crawling under the doors and unlocking them, but I feel too much like crap to care right now. Let someone else deal with their shit.

I hate these people. I hope they eat something that disagrees with them tonight and either have to spew out everything in an uncontrollable turbo-vomit, or get really really bad diahrea. And then they have to crawl under the stupid doors that they themselves locked to get to the toilet in time. And I hope they hit their head on it.

Current Mood: pissed off

Tags:

I feel like crap. My head is killing me, I'm getting chills and I'm pretty sure I have a fever. My chest feels like it has a brick in it, and I'm never hungry because my stomach is too busy trying to handle all the mucus my body is leeking into it to actually digest real food. And I'm achy. All over. Did I mention that I went through a TWO AND HALF hour choir practice this way? As a first soprano. Attempting to sing the god awful high notes in Glory Hallelujah. Yeah, I tried it once and then just stopped singing--the hacking afterwords wasn't pretty, and made sure I was going to suffocate in my own snot before this is all over.

I can't sleep and no one on this floor has anything that would help. No Tylenol, no Ibuprofen, no Allieve, (however you freaking spell those things) not even some freaken cough syrup (which I could really use because I would really like to start breathing again, rather than darting quick, mucus filled mini-breaths in between hacks) . What do they have to offer? Dayquill. Like that is going to help me get some sleep so I have a chance of not dropping dead on my way to classes tomorrow. This is a freaking college dorm and no one has any drugs. There should be LOADS of drugs, of ALL kind. Why don't they have any?

Maybe they all hate me and they are holding out on me just for spite.

...

... I wouldn't put it past them. Freakin' evil teeny boppers.

.....Could paranoia and bitchiness count as a new symptom?

Now, after having informed you all of my misery, I am going to curl up in my too hot/too cold, too freaking uncomfortable dorm bed, put in my ear phones and watch Gargoyles on youtube until I manage to fall asleep. That's right. Gargoyles. I don't care if that is a child's show from the 90's. I love it.

Maybe my fever will get so bad I'll hallucinate about them. That would be cool.

Current Mood: sick
Current Music: Gargoyles theme song. Duuuun dun dun dun dun duuuuun da da dun!

Tags:

So, its New Years Eve, and all my plans didn't work out. The big party we were supposed to have at my house got cancelled ( of course ), and the party with my family in Kokomo we are not going to because my dad has a headache. And Christina moved down to Vincinnes ( or however you spell that ) with her husband and her pets and for the first time EVER, I am celebrating ( if you could call it that, baby sitting my sister in her friends more like ) New Years without her. I am sad. No more tradition of attempting to make chinese food for the New Year.

My mother wants to adopt my cousin Brandy's kid. I don't remember if I ever went into the Saga of Brandy on this journal, but let me just say she's an absolute mess, gives us no end of grief and just got her child taken away from her. I think anyway, I really haven't heard of her since the last time I saw her, which was months ago when she came to visit our grandmother. In any case my parent are arguing about it. Mom wants to adopt (adopt!!!) her son, but dad doesn't want to because A) We really don't need another kid around, I mean, they already have four kids do they really need another? And B) Once Brandy finds out we have her son she'll never stop trying to get him back. And she really can't take care of him.

I think my mom really just wants a baby around. Christina and my sister really need to have children fast.

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: Sweeney Todd Soundtrack

Tags:

Aisalynn Writes

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So yeah, maybe I've been watching too much Doctor Who lately.

Another Reason I Love Fanficton Writers So Much

Writer's Block: You and A Fictional Character of Your Choice

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Self Pity

Fanfiction

Earthquake?

Babies!!

School, Star Trek and Other Stuff :)

I'm Officially a Carrier for This Season's Plague

The Eighth Floor of Shwoody Hall

I need a doctor. Greg House would be nice.

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