![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
So I've spent this weekend catching up with Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Now that it has moved to Friday I might actually watch it when it airs, but it is more likely that I'll be busy and have to watch it on line as usual. Anyway, while I was catching up I wrote a few drabbles. Or drabble-ish things. They're all under 250 words at least. I never can manage to keep them under a hundred. *shruggs*
Title: Paradox
Characters: John, Sarah
Rating: PG
Warnings: Mild spoilers for early season 2.
She wouldn’t appreciate that thought.
“Do you ever think we’re destined to fail?” he asked her.
She glanced up sharply, pausing the motions of her hands. “Why do you say that?”
“Well, it’s a paradox, isn’t it? If we stop Skynet from being created then the war doesn’t happen and Kyle Reese doesn’t get sent back in time. I wouldn’t exist and you’d be a waitress and there wouldn’t be anyone to stop Skynet. So just the fact that I’m here means we fail.” He’d thought about this before, but he’d never mentioned it to her before now.
She looked away, and he could see the muscles in her hands tense. “I don’t believe that.”
“What do you believe?”
She looked him in the eyes then, and her gaze was hard. Intense. Determined. It was a look he’d seen his whole life. “I believe it doesn’t matter. We fight. No matter what. It’s what we do. It’s the only thing we can do.”
He said nothing, and she picked up the next gun.
.
Title: Good People
Characters: Future!John, Cameron
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers for Allison From Palmdale
John knew immediately when Cameron had replaced Allison. He recognized that steady, familiar gate, the graceful, but precise way of movement, and he knew that Allison was dead.
He mourned her, the girl with the brave eyes and stubborn chin, but part of him was glad. Glad to start the programming that would bring back his old childhood friend and protector, to bring back a link to better days. He’d missed her, as strange as it was to miss the presence of a machine.
So he was glad.
Title: Uncle
Characters: Future!John/Derek, John/Derek
Rating: R
Warnings: incest, hints of bondage
It was always rough between them. Harsh and brutal and before John Connor Derek had never even thought of doing to a lover half of the things they did to each other. But John said he needed it, needed the intensity, needed the pain.
He said he couldn’t feel anything otherwise.
When he brought out the chains Derek hesitated. It was a dizzying feeling, knowing the leader of the resistance trusted him that much, and he wondered briefly if that was even true. Maybe it wasn’t about trust. Maybe it was about being allowed to feel out of control.
John had seen his hesitation and he smirked. “Don’t worry,” he said, “You won’t do anything I won’t want. And if you do I’ll say… ‘uncle,’” and his lips twisted in a wry smile, as if there was something funny about the word, some joke Derek didn’t get.
He got it now.
Now, as he was pressed against the body of his nephew, lips gasping against ones softer, younger, than his own, hands trailing along skin unmarked by years of battle. It was gentle now, slow and cautious. He pulled back and leaned their foreheads together. John’s eyes were glazed and his skin flushed and he looked at Derek with such complete trust that Derek felt dizzy again. “John,” he gasped. “If you don’t want this I can stop. I can stop. Just say the word.”
And just like in the future, it was never spoken.
Title: Better
Characters: Derek Reese
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Character Death
Derek wasn’t surprised when the bullet pierced his stomach. Shocked from the impact and the pain, yes. But not surprised. Years of training and fighting were what helped him hold onto the gun even as he fell to his knees. One hand pressed to his wounded stomach, the other raised and steady, he emptied the gun into the T-888 making its way toward them.
It didn’t slow it down.
Behind him he could hear John and Sarah, screaming, yelling, giving orders. He knew without looking that John was trying to get back to him, and that Sarah was pulling him back. He would fight her. She would win. They’d leave him here, to bleed out in the middle of a desert road. It was what was best.
And he wasn’t surprised.
Everyone died for John Connor. They died for the man, for the dream, for the Resistance. They died for him because they were going to die anyway--from the machines, the war, the hunger, the disease--and they might as well die for something with meaning. The Cause. The hope.
John Connor.
He was different, Derek thought, because everyone died for John Connor the man. He got to die for John Connor the boy.
It was better this way.
Title: Smile
Characters: John, Allison
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers for season finale.
She isn’t graceful.
She isn’t ungraceful either. She just walks, the heavy, battle scarred boots not hindering the confident steps of her feet. It’s a soldier’s walk, a march almost, but it isn’t mechanical.
Allison.
It hurt to think the name.
She brings him clothes, a few bundles of dark gray and muddy brown to be worn layered over top of each other for warmth because they didn’t have a spare jacket to give him.
“These should fit you better,” she says. The voice is the same, but the speech pattern is different and she smiles when she hands them to him. It’s not a forced smile; it’s bright and sincere and it comes naturally to her face.
He doesn’t like it.
Title: Just John
Characters: John, Derek, Kyle, Allison
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers for season finale
I don’t know any John Connor, Derek said, and John thinks that somehow, he’s messed up.
By leaving his time, (a time that he doesn’t think of as the past but simply as home, even though it wasn’t, not really) he’s erased who he was supposed to be. John Connor the resistance leader doesn’t exist now. There’s just him. Just John.
Panic claws at him until he sees that the world hasn’t ended yet. Humans were still living, still fighting. He wasn’t, he thought, as necessary as he was told he was. And then guilt replaces the panic, because he can’t help but being relieved by that.
It’s when Kyle Reese (his father, his mind whispers) holds out his hand in greeting that he sees it. There, on the inside of his forearm, where the tattoo from the concentration camp should be.
Nothing.
And John realizes, it just hasn’t happened yet.
He swallows hard as he grasps his father’s hand. “John Connor,” the mans says. “You say that like it means something.”
“No,” he says hoarsely. His eyes flicker from his father’s face to Cameron’s (Allison’s). “It’s just my name.”
Title: Lies
Characters: John, Allison
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers for season finale
“You’re staring.”
“What?’
“You’re staring at me. Again.” She reaches up and brushes her hair way from her face. It’s an unnecessary movement and its this, more than anything else that reminds him.
Cameron didn’t make unnecessary movements.
He looks away. “Sorry.”
“Why do you keep doing it?” She doesn’t sound put off by it, just curious, and it makes something inside him clench.
How often had she observed some human characteristic that she didn’t understand and then asked him “why?”
“You… look like someone I used to know.” It’s not a lie. She looks exactly like her, it’s the only thing that is the same.
“Oh. Is she dead?” Her voice goes quiet, but he’s still surprised by her lack of tact. He supposes its pointless if people you know die all the time.
He shakes his head and doesn’t look at her. “No. She’s just…lost.”
That’s not a lie either.
Title: Paradox
Characters: John, Sarah
Rating: PG
Warnings: Mild spoilers for early season 2.
He watched his mother clean the guns at the kitchen table. Ever since the incident in his room she’d insisted that she be the only one to do it, despite his assurances that it was just an accident, that he hadn’t been trying to kill himself.
She wouldn’t appreciate that thought.
“Do you ever think we’re destined to fail?” he asked her.
She glanced up sharply, pausing the motions of her hands. “Why do you say that?”
“Well, it’s a paradox, isn’t it? If we stop Skynet from being created then the war doesn’t happen and Kyle Reese doesn’t get sent back in time. I wouldn’t exist and you’d be a waitress and there wouldn’t be anyone to stop Skynet. So just the fact that I’m here means we fail.” He’d thought about this before, but he’d never mentioned it to her before now.
She looked away, and he could see the muscles in her hands tense. “I don’t believe that.”
“What do you believe?”
She looked him in the eyes then, and her gaze was hard. Intense. Determined. It was a look he’d seen his whole life. “I believe it doesn’t matter. We fight. No matter what. It’s what we do. It’s the only thing we can do.”
He said nothing, and she picked up the next gun.
.
Title: Good People
Characters: Future!John, Cameron
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers for Allison From Palmdale
John knew immediately when Cameron had replaced Allison. He recognized that steady, familiar gate, the graceful, but precise way of movement, and he knew that Allison was dead.
He mourned her, the girl with the brave eyes and stubborn chin, but part of him was glad. Glad to start the programming that would bring back his old childhood friend and protector, to bring back a link to better days. He’d missed her, as strange as it was to miss the presence of a machine.
So he was glad.
Years ago, he might have wondered if that made him a bad person, but he doesn’t question things like that anymore. There are no “good people” now. There are those who survive, and those who are dead.
Title: Uncle
Characters: Future!John/Derek, John/Derek
Rating: R
Warnings: incest, hints of bondage
It was always rough between them. Harsh and brutal and before John Connor Derek had never even thought of doing to a lover half of the things they did to each other. But John said he needed it, needed the intensity, needed the pain.
He said he couldn’t feel anything otherwise.
When he brought out the chains Derek hesitated. It was a dizzying feeling, knowing the leader of the resistance trusted him that much, and he wondered briefly if that was even true. Maybe it wasn’t about trust. Maybe it was about being allowed to feel out of control.
John had seen his hesitation and he smirked. “Don’t worry,” he said, “You won’t do anything I won’t want. And if you do I’ll say… ‘uncle,’” and his lips twisted in a wry smile, as if there was something funny about the word, some joke Derek didn’t get.
He got it now.
Now, as he was pressed against the body of his nephew, lips gasping against ones softer, younger, than his own, hands trailing along skin unmarked by years of battle. It was gentle now, slow and cautious. He pulled back and leaned their foreheads together. John’s eyes were glazed and his skin flushed and he looked at Derek with such complete trust that Derek felt dizzy again. “John,” he gasped. “If you don’t want this I can stop. I can stop. Just say the word.”
And just like in the future, it was never spoken.
Title: Better
Characters: Derek Reese
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Character Death
Derek wasn’t surprised when the bullet pierced his stomach. Shocked from the impact and the pain, yes. But not surprised. Years of training and fighting were what helped him hold onto the gun even as he fell to his knees. One hand pressed to his wounded stomach, the other raised and steady, he emptied the gun into the T-888 making its way toward them.
It didn’t slow it down.
Behind him he could hear John and Sarah, screaming, yelling, giving orders. He knew without looking that John was trying to get back to him, and that Sarah was pulling him back. He would fight her. She would win. They’d leave him here, to bleed out in the middle of a desert road. It was what was best.
And he wasn’t surprised.
Everyone died for John Connor. They died for the man, for the dream, for the Resistance. They died for him because they were going to die anyway--from the machines, the war, the hunger, the disease--and they might as well die for something with meaning. The Cause. The hope.
John Connor.
He was different, Derek thought, because everyone died for John Connor the man. He got to die for John Connor the boy.
It was better this way.
Title: Smile
Characters: John, Allison
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers for season finale.
She isn’t graceful.
She isn’t ungraceful either. She just walks, the heavy, battle scarred boots not hindering the confident steps of her feet. It’s a soldier’s walk, a march almost, but it isn’t mechanical.
Allison.
It hurt to think the name.
She brings him clothes, a few bundles of dark gray and muddy brown to be worn layered over top of each other for warmth because they didn’t have a spare jacket to give him.
“These should fit you better,” she says. The voice is the same, but the speech pattern is different and she smiles when she hands them to him. It’s not a forced smile; it’s bright and sincere and it comes naturally to her face.
He doesn’t like it.
Title: Just John
Characters: John, Derek, Kyle, Allison
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers for season finale
I don’t know any John Connor, Derek said, and John thinks that somehow, he’s messed up.
By leaving his time, (a time that he doesn’t think of as the past but simply as home, even though it wasn’t, not really) he’s erased who he was supposed to be. John Connor the resistance leader doesn’t exist now. There’s just him. Just John.
Panic claws at him until he sees that the world hasn’t ended yet. Humans were still living, still fighting. He wasn’t, he thought, as necessary as he was told he was. And then guilt replaces the panic, because he can’t help but being relieved by that.
It’s when Kyle Reese (his father, his mind whispers) holds out his hand in greeting that he sees it. There, on the inside of his forearm, where the tattoo from the concentration camp should be.
Nothing.
And John realizes, it just hasn’t happened yet.
He swallows hard as he grasps his father’s hand. “John Connor,” the mans says. “You say that like it means something.”
“No,” he says hoarsely. His eyes flicker from his father’s face to Cameron’s (Allison’s). “It’s just my name.”
Title: Lies
Characters: John, Allison
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers for season finale
“You’re staring.”
“What?’
“You’re staring at me. Again.” She reaches up and brushes her hair way from her face. It’s an unnecessary movement and its this, more than anything else that reminds him.
Cameron didn’t make unnecessary movements.
He looks away. “Sorry.”
“Why do you keep doing it?” She doesn’t sound put off by it, just curious, and it makes something inside him clench.
How often had she observed some human characteristic that she didn’t understand and then asked him “why?”
“You… look like someone I used to know.” It’s not a lie. She looks exactly like her, it’s the only thing that is the same.
“Oh. Is she dead?” Her voice goes quiet, but he’s still surprised by her lack of tact. He supposes its pointless if people you know die all the time.
He shakes his head and doesn’t look at her. “No. She’s just…lost.”
That’s not a lie either.
Tags:
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
1. i loved Sarah's resignation. I love that her cynicism isn't a mask for some fervent optimism. She's fighting because there's nothing else to do. Not becuase she's a believer.
2. This one was brave. I love dthat you explored the idea that John might actually be glad that the machine replaced the girl, that the machine is the one he knows. Excellent.
4. Derek's musings on dying for John Connor were also quite brave. I loved the why not? I loved the idea that, in their own way, the soldiers who die are using John as much as he is using him.
Great work. Thanks for writing.
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
the drabble about John reprogramming Cameron was... astonishing. I'd never thought one could see it from that angle, but you are absolutely right and you did a good job in writing it.
'Uncle' was another bold one. While I like the pairing I dislike the violence/bonding theme, I liked this drabble of yourse. The way you built it up, used the meaning of the word in the different contexts was great.
'Better' the one I like best. Plain and simple. Love it.
Thanks for sharing all of them!!
From:
no subject
And I like the one about Derek's death. I like the lines about how everyone dies anyway and you might as well die for something worthwhile. And how he's different because he died for John the boy instead of John the man. Tragic. And touching.
And I like "Smile". The picture is great, just how the future looked, and that's exactly how John would see her, I think. Not as Allison, a human girl, but as a human reflection of Cameron, who looked like her, but very obviously wasn't her. And I think it would be painful for him to be around her.
And "Just John" is very good too. Perfect description of how he would feel, I think.
And I like "Lies", once again because he's so fixated on Cameron. The poor boy is so in love he can't hardly see straight. (As was evidenced by many actions, like in S&D, but particularly in tonight's episode, eh?) I love his response to her question. Perfect.
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
John and Allison... i'm not sure how to feel about it yet, but i love the drabbles.
He goes after Cameron and he ends up finding Allison...
From:
no subject
As for the whole Allison thing. I really hope that wasn't supposed to be some kind of set up for a romance. Like he finds his "true love" in her or something, and Cameron was just to serves as a way to bring him to her. That would suck. I really like John/Cameron. Simply because it can't work. I like the tragedy of it.
From:
no subject
But those were awesome. Smile and Lies stuck out the most in my mind.
=]
From:
no subject
I'm glad you liked the drabbles, especially Smile and Lies. They were my favorite to write. :)
Thank you for reading!
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
Thank you so much for reading!
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
Yeah I know. The thing is, we know if Skynet isn't defeated then John has to go without her, because he has to send her back. Then again, if it is defeated she would never be made... argh. The paradoxes make my head hurt.
Solution: John goes years without Cameron, Allison is killed and replaced by Evil!Cameron in the resistance camp. John changes her programing and spends years with her before he sends her back, knowing that while she won't succeed in destroying Skynet she'll protect him. After he sends her back in time, he finally finds the Cameron who he followed to the future. She had a new body created, but still looks the same.
How would that be?
From:
no subject
Yeah I've not thought about this way too much at all.