Wow... I forgot how much your critiques rock. *grins*
Yeah, I know it's short, but it was written for a Fic Drive (trying to get so many fics posted in so many days) and the dealine was in like, then minutes, so I cut it down a bit.
The sex scene, haha. Well, I've only actually started writing sex scenes a few weeks ago, so all of them are a bit...sketchy. Brief, abstract glimpes ans whatnot.
As for Millie, well she's his girlfriend-ish thing in the movie (Yes, movie, not series, so it would be easy for you to catch up! *hint hint*) but she sort of was always an afterthought, but your right, I really didn't get to do as much with her here as I originally planned to.
*jumps up and down* I'm so glad you commented! You have no idea how much I'm grinning right now. *beams* Marshmellows for you!!
PS. I saw your picspam (and didn't comment, I'm a bad friend -.-) and LOVE your haircut, by the way. :)
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Date: 2008-08-04 06:15 am (UTC)Wow... I forgot how much your critiques rock. *grins*
Yeah, I know it's short, but it was written for a Fic Drive (trying to get so many fics posted in so many days) and the dealine was in like, then minutes, so I cut it down a bit.
The sex scene, haha. Well, I've only actually started writing sex scenes a few weeks ago, so all of them are a bit...sketchy. Brief, abstract glimpes ans whatnot.
As for Millie, well she's his girlfriend-ish thing in the movie (Yes, movie, not series, so it would be easy for you to catch up! *hint hint*) but she sort of was always an afterthought, but your right, I really didn't get to do as much with her here as I originally planned to.
*jumps up and down* I'm so glad you commented! You have no idea how much I'm grinning right now. *beams* Marshmellows for you!!
PS. I saw your picspam (and didn't comment, I'm a bad friend -.-) and LOVE your haircut, by the way. :)