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By the way, I don't know why I was so reluctant to sleep earlier today, all that nonsense about Pod People. I took a little nap around noon and woke up feeling so fresh, so renewed, like I was a whole new person. Sleep is good... everyone should just go to sleep...
Title: Like This
Author: Aisalynn
Fandom: Torchwood
Character/Pairings: Jack/Gwen/Ianto
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Three breaths, three lives, three heartbeats.
It was like this: three bodies and three sets of hands and feet, three sets of eyes closing and teeth biting and three sets of breathing coming in gasps that echoed in the empty hub because there was no one in there but them, no one else, no one ever
It was like this: the slide of his skin against theirs, dark strands of hair falling in his face, a rough hand gripping his hip as they moved and rocked, a tangled heap of arms and legs and feet and skin (he wrapped his arms around them both closing his eyes and trying to forget because they were gone and he’d loved them all--the Doctor, Rose, Estelle, Gray, Owen, Tosh…he’d loved them all and it didn’t matter how many lives he lived, or how many he had to watch die it never got better, the hole inside him grew and grew and filled with pain and fear and anger and so he’d hold them close, hold them tight, hold them safe) he held them in a grip so strong he was sure they couldn’t breathe, but they didn’t protest, they held on to him too, fingers digging deep and leaving bruises he knew would fade no matter how much he wanted them to stay
It was like this: a calloused hand skating across her back, two low voices whispering, gasping in her ears, her hands running over unfamiliar bodies, unfamiliar shoulders and unfamiliar arms and chests and knees and necks and her hands trembled against their skin, the left hand bare, tan line visible on her third finger (Rhys was gone, not dead gone like she had always feared, but just gone, leaving her, packing his things and leaving the apartment, tired of always being second best to a job, a passing thought in a life he couldn’t touch and no matter how hard she begged or fought or cried it didn’t matter he was gone… and a part of her was relieved because there was nothing to stop her from this) two shades of brown hair running through her fingers, two hot mouths on her skin, trailing down her neck, (and part of her was broken, dead and she barely left the hub anymore because the outside world was cold just like they said and it didn’t matter that she was starting to hate this place with its empty, empty rooms filled to the brim with junk and memories and ruined lives)
It was like this: the memorized sound of his breathing and gasping was now blended with a different, higher sound, gasps and moans and whimpers in a woman’s voice, and he hadn’t heard that in so long but he didn’t mind the extra noise, the extra limbs and lips and thoughts and feelings (because he was always the one left behind and he couldn’t stand it, watching them get in the van and leave and not knowing if they would come back and he was stuck here with nothing to do but clean up the mess just like when Lisa was gone, gone forever in a Cyber body that he couldn’t help her leave and gone into death and darkness and now Tosh and Owen were gone and he was here again and he hated, hated being left behind) he welcomed the two arms that circled around him and the soft, smaller hand that reached for his, interlacing their fingers and pulling them between the heat of their bodies because here he was the center and if he clung on then they couldn’t leave
It was like this: the sweat gleaming on their skin in the dim light of the hub, their breaths slowing down and synchronizing as they lay there, salt in their mouths as they grazed their lips across fingers and throats and stomachs, breath ghosting along skin and raising goose bumps, limbs woven together until they weren’t three but one and there were tears on their faces but they didn’t know whose because here it didn’t matter, when one cried the others cried and they closed their eyes but stayed awake, letting hands roam and fingertips trace patterns along sides and legs and backs and letting the sound of each other’s breathing drown out the roar of the world
It was like this.
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Adding to mems ;)
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It's always embarrassing to look at my bookmarks and think "Ooops! Forgot to share the love!"
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Beautifully put.
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So glad I followed this rec - this is beautiful. There's so, so much here in so few words, I'm going to have to read it several times to really absorb it.
Thank you for writing.