(no subject)

Have you ever looked at your life, and though there seemed to be plenty going your way, you just feel empty? You've got great friends, great family, good grades (with the exception of maybe one subject, but you still feel like you have nothing? Or rather, you feel that there isn't much meaning in everything you have? If you have, you know what I'm going through.

I shouldn't feel like this. I haven't felt like this in three years, since before Christ came into my life. But I can't help but look at my friends, and they've got these plans, these ideas, these relationships. They have something going for them. And I think, why don't I have that? Not that they have perfect lives or anything. I mean, one of my best friends has cancer again, another friend has a sucky neglectful dad, another is so overprotected he can barely do anything. But for some reason when I think about them, I just feel... sad. Don't ask me why, I can't pin point it exactly. I guess I'm just discontent. I feel as if I should be doing something, rushing forward to something, but I know not what.

Why I am never having kids.

Gah! Little kids have driven me insane!!!

My little sister had her birthday party today, and because my decied she wanted to sleep, I was in charge! It was terrifying. I was surrouned by about ten eleven year olds!! And they were loud and annoying and stupid and idiotic and and... scary... *shudders* I ended up having a conversation with some kid about the Harry Potter books and how horrible the movies are. Or rather, he talked about how great the movies are, and I trashed them. (The third one is the worst. It disgusts me. Completely ruined the story line, in my opinion) And then, when I got on the laptop they sat around me (practically in my lap) to see what I was doing. And they were so freaking loud!! And the worst part is, some of them are still here. Its a sleep-over. *shudders and starts rocking back and forth, whispering to herself*