aisalynn | I love cheese. (This seems random, but is, in fact, relevant.)

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I love cheese. (This seems random, but is, in fact, relevant.)

Once again I am in an empty room at the church my sister works at, writing a gay love story while waiting for her to be done. Or, well, frantically editing a gay love story, since I just realized that I have just eight days until my Big Bang posting date and I'm not with this beast of a story. Which reminds me, I already have a beta but anyone on my flist willing to give this a read through and tell me what they think? You don't have to some serious beta-ing (unless, of course you want to) I'm just looking for general reactions and thoughts. You know, whether the progression and characterizations seem natural. I realize that this is a horrible thing to ask with just little over a week before my posting date, but I kinda got distracted with all this health crap and got behind. (It's kinda hard to write and edit when you are sleeping most of the time.)

Speaking of the Health Crap, I got the test results back on the celiac's panel and they were negative. However, they still want me to go through with the upper endoscopy tomorrow because they want to look for a some kind of bacterial infection in my intestines. Also, the food allergy IGE came back and, just like I thought, I'm allergic to milk.

Hah. Take that, Mother. I told you years ago when you were forcing me to drink milk with every meal that I got sick and thought I was lactose intolerant or something, and you always just scoffed at me. Well look. I am. And if you had stopped giving it to me as a child I might have grown out of it.

My triumph on that account is almost completely dwarfed, however, by my absolute horror at the fact that my doctor thinks that I might still be gluten sensitive and that even though my allergy to milk is mild, and I don't have any sort of reaction to say, cheese, I should give up both gluten and dairy for good.

Gluten and dairy.

Both.

I literally, literally cried when my mother told me this.

Now, I've been told I'll get over this, that this could be good for me because I'll expand my food horizons and be healthier and probably learn to cook since if I want to eat anything than just slabs of meat and salad I'll have to cook my own meals, and that after a while I won't miss these foods at all, but still I can't help but be upset, because, well, cheese.

I love it. My one consolation when I heard I might have to live gluten free, was that at least I could still have nachos. (You have no idea how much I love nachos.)

Well, since this might be my last night of gluten and dairy, my little sister and I are going out to eat. I'm getting a blooming onion, since I love it so much and will definitely miss it. I tried to force my friend Jasmine to go with me, but she said she just got off work and was too tired and wanted to take a nap. *Makes face at her* Bah. I've been exhausted for a year now. If I stay awake for more than five hours straight I get so tired I feel like crying, and still I drag myself out of bed to see her when she complains that it seems like I fell off the face of the earth, she sees me so little. *sticks tongue out at her*

Not that I'm really mad at her. Just at the world in general, my doctor who can't give me anything definite but still wants me to drastically change my diet for the rest of my life, and my bad luck. :(

Now I'm going to go back to editing my J2 love story to make myself feel better.

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:hugs: bb that sucks! But I do have to agree with whoever said it would expand your food horizons - I went vegan a couple years ago (and I'm relapsing into ice cream a bit >.> but whatever. Ice cream vegans exist, y/y?) and it's made me try a ton of cool new foods, and I've gotten to experiment a ton and it's actually been pretty good for me. And if you are able to have more energy at the end of this whole nightmare, then that's a definite plus.

And I'd love to look over/beta your BB! (lol ohgod my mom and her stupid love of editing things has rubbed off on me so hard… o.o) I'm home until the middle of the day on Friday this week, and I get back early on Monday, so any other time I'm around and could totally look it over for you!

I hope you feel better soon. xo

coconut milk ice cream is really good and 100% dairy free! not sure if it's completely vegan, but it's an amazing dairy alternative :)

I LOVE THAT STUFF. <3 Coconut milk is def one of my favorite things ever, in any way shape or form.

IT'S SO GOOD!! <3 coconut milk yoghurt is definitely at the top of my "most loved" list. so yummy, especially considering I never did like dairy yoghurt originally!

I never did either. /0\ Frozen yogurt is good when it's GOOD, but it all begins and ends with the coconut. <3 rofl

hahaha, true dat!

*sigh* That's what people keep telling me. But it doesn't make me feel better when I imagine life without my aunt's dinner rolls for Thanksgiving, or my sister's completely awesome twice baked cheddar bacon potatoes. *sighs again*

Oh, and I have a friend who is trying to go vegan. The ice cream is what she's having trouble with too. ;)

Yay! I would love it if you took a look at my BB! :D (And please, exercise your love editing all you want on it!) Do you want PM your e-mail address so I can send it to you when I'm finished with this revision?

Yep, it's going to be tough. ;( And I really shouldn't be all "YOU CAN DO IT" because I'm always about ready to kill myself after a week of Passover, and I couldn't imagine a whole life of that. Life is frustrating.

I'm norafinchley@gmail.com It's no biggie to put it out there randomly, bc I have an email for rl, for my old ffn account, and that one is my lj one that I don't care who here knows. lol I'm weird about keeping everything separate and tidy. So just send it over any time! <333

Hey!!! I would be more than happy to read your story over for you :D I've got some free time (thank god I'm done with my own big bang!) and can definitely find the time to read it! So if you want you can email it to me at steadydownfall06@yahoo.com If you remember I'm pretty good at the squealy honest reactions hahaha

Someone has already offered to read it for me, but if you're still interested I'd love a third opinion. :D Congrats on being done with yours! (I've been meaning to read your Purity one, just haven't gotten around to it yet with all the crap going on right now. *sigh* This real life health crap has put me seriously behind on my J2 and Wincest stories. And really, that's just unforgivable.)

So, do you still want me to send this revision to you when I'm finished with it? (hopefully within the next two days, if I can get my ass in gear.)

YES! I'd love to check it out :D I can certainly offer opinions! And no worries about Purity, I know my rl and writing tends to get in the way of reading goodness ;D

Probably avoiding all dairy as your system gets back into balance is a good idea, but there are a number of people with allergies that can eat their allergen if its denatured (ie cooked). Probably, the curing process of the cheese reduces the allergen alot so it's possible that once you reintroduce it you'll be fine. But, after going through a detox for a while from the allergens, you'll notice fairly quickly if you have any response (be it emotional - yes, my allergy attacks play heck with my temper - or physical)

*hugs* I hope that they figure it out and that it turns out to not be as limiting as it seems. I know when I figured out my corn allergy, shopping and cooking seemed daunting. But not having sinus infections, bowel trouble, and being able to stay awake soon balanced things enough to make up for it. Though I did crave corn-containing things for a few years. Nowadays, I just shrug when sweets are brought in to the office. Though I do miss mexican. :( But my binges on southwestern style stuffed peppers generally makes up for it.

The nice thing is you can actually find a lot of gluten free/dairy free combo cookbooks on amazon if it turns out you need both. So at least you won't have to wander around learning from scratch.

Did your allergy cause you to be extremely fatigued as well? (I haven't read anything about that in milk allergies, just stuff about vomiting, anaphylaxis and rashes, none of which I have. I'm going to ask the GI doc about it tomorrow.)

*sigh* I might actually have to get a few of those books now...

The fatigue (as well as gi problems every morning) was what led to try to cut out corn (I'd been allergic as a baby but outgrew it and drank soda and ate whatever growing up). Basically, when I started grad school at 21, after any and every meal, I would practically pass out for an hour no matter what was occuring. And I always felt tired. I'd been having "tension" migraines for five years before that that turned out to be allergy migraines.

The difference between the two of us is that I don't actually have antibodies to anything they test for with corn, so it's a very atypical allergy. But as my doc said, if you feel better, there's no reason not to avoid what makes you feel bad.

Basically the presence of antibodies they detected to milk with you means you have the potential to have an anaphylactic response, whereas for me, the chance is slim and none unless I suddenly develop antibodies (says my Ph.D. in immunology).

Oh, on your love for cheese -

Not sure if you doctor told you this, but it's something to consider. Basically, whatever foods we are allergic to, we are often "addicted" to because we actually get an almost high like response when our body releases epinephrine (adrenaline) to combat the effects of the allergic response. Despite the atypicalness of my allergy, i definitely experience a high when I do eat corn containing products. Actually, after I'd been corn-free for a while, that was how I figured out excedrine changed their formulation to include corn starch was I started to have my corn highs whenever I took a pill (and the headache wouldn't always go away :( )

Oh, you will need to ask your doctor if you need to avoid medicines with a lactose substrate, or if those will be suitably milk-free not to worry about.

Two things I love most in this world... Cheese... and Bacon...

I know if I could erase both from my dietary consumption, I would probably be 15% healthier and possibly on my way to losing weight (which my disability cries out for me to do)... but I just CANNOT fathom my life without either. I've already given up sweets and larger portions of food... just can't do anymore. Oh, well... I'm better when I can maintain than freak out and become depressed about what I can't eat anymore.

I have no doubt if I went to a gluten-free diet my health would improve greatly. Just can't do it. I love food too much.

================

Funny, you should mention the fic... I was just about to start constructing an email to you, tell you I was ready and willing whenever you were ready, if you had gotten back into the BB Groove again. I wasn't sure if you'd be able to work on the writing with all of the sleeping and medical appointments you were doing. Not to mention just having to deal with the upcoming changes to your life; diet and otherwise.

Send it to me whenever. I will start working on it, thoroughly, the second I find it in my email. Even if it's close to the wire of posting date. (Gosh, it's already here! June took so long to get over)

Oh, yeah... that is if I'm still the "beta" you're talking about (hehehe)...

Can't wait to re-read and see what new stuff you've added.

hugs...Sonny

Blooming onions and nachos. I LOVE THEM. The blooming onion is a special treat for me, I get it probably once every few months or so, but nacho's are essential in my life. I can't imagine it without nachos. It just seems sad and dreary. *whimpers*

Haha, yes you are definitely the beta I was referring to. :) And I was just about to write an e-mail to you as well. Mostly detailing about how I haven't been editing my story as much as I should have over the past few months, and that I'm seriously behind and I'm so terribly sorry if I end up sending this to you really close to the deadline. Heh. *looks nervous*

So yeah, not too much new stuff yet. I keep going back to that damn sex scene and rewriting it. I tell you, unless the sex is angry I just can't write it. Gah. It's so frustrating. I'll probably end up sending it to you with a desperate plea for help, just to let you know.

If you were at the restaurant I'm thinking you're at for a "blooming onion" fix, then I'll slide my own desperation for Kookaburra Wings and Gold Coast Coconut Shrimp. Ah, jus' thinkin' 'bout it makes me hungry.

===============

Hehehe, that's what I thought. That woulda been cool had our emails met one another out in cyberspace and canceled each other out. Eh, now you won't have to wax poetic about what's been keeping you from editing (you really don't have to explain unless you need to vent and it makes you feel better; trust me, I'm willing to listen)

DO NOT even try to apologize. How were you to know that this medical issue would crop up around the time of BB this year? I'm just so proud and deeply respectful that you're even willing to keep going on and try to finish this.

It's really okay if the *new stuff* isn't as much as I thought or what you had promised me a month ago. You've still got a great BB fic without all the heavy sexin'.

And yes... yes, yes, yes... send me whatever you need to send me of what's completed. I'm willing to help you out with whatever you may need. I've written ALL types of sex scenes... sensual to a really good intense sexual one and even rough ones. I've got no problem helping you out in that area. Gosh, especially since you were trying to write IN A CHURCH...

Even if you just have a "skeleton" scene already set up where you didn't know where to take the J's... I can work well with what I'm given.

hugs...SONNY

Okay, you know what? Since this is really hanging me up and stopping me from focusing on other parts of the story why don't I just send you what I have right now and then move on? You don't have to do anything with it tonight if you don't want to, but it will be a relief to have it out of my hands for a while. :)

Just read it in my InBox... will construct the sexin' as prescribed.

Awesome! This'll be such fun!

How "slutty" did you want Jared, again? (tehehehe)

No worries, referring back to your email where you mention how you wanted the 'sex' to look.

thanx... hugs...SONNY

not sure if this will help or not, but I went dairy & wheat free for a couple months and it really helped my sensitivities. you can try cutting out little things, just for a little while, and then maybe try the bigger things. don't jump into it too quick! it will just make you frustrated, believe me. there are also tests you can have to determine exactly what types of gluten and/or dairy you're sensitive to (example: I'm sensitive to wheat/barley and cow dairy, but I can still have oats etc. and goat/sheep milk). the only problem is that the tests are pretty expensive.

I take enzymes before every meal just in case there is something in there I'm sensitive to (and take more enzymes during the meal if I know for sure there's something in it). these (http://www.houston-enzymes.com/store/product.php?p=4&c=1) are the ones I use, but I would definitely talk to your doctor about it. they've helped me a lot with my sensitivities but that doesn't mean they're the right thing for everyone. I just like to take the natural approach, and it's worked so far :)

Thank you! That does help. I should definitely talk to my doctor about that tomorrow. I just assumed that it was wheat gluten (and I was hoping it was just cow dairy, because I like goat cheese and wouldn't mind too much, substituting that. Frankly I can live without milk. I already do in fact. Blech.) but I should probably ask about it and about those tests. It would be better to know for sure. Thanks. :D

I found the test really helpful because I found out about sensitivities that I hadn't known about, but were causing huge problems for me. compared to just a few years ago there are so many great gluten-free and dairy-free alternatives. I remember trying to find gluten-free breads just 2 years ago and I could never find anything that tasted good. I don't know if you have a Whole Foods near you (or if it's within your price range) but they have some seriously amazing gluten-free stuff. especially their Prairie Bread. AND CUPCAKES. I've never had such good gluten-free cupcakes before (not dairy-free, but damn are they worth it -drools-).

I'm sorry, my "It will be okay!" posts probably haven't been helpful when you're freaked out and trying to mourn.

Good luck with you Big Bang and I hope you enjoyed your blooming onion!

Haha. I have appreciated the reassurance, I promise. I was actually almost okay with the whole gluten-free thing. Not happy, but I'd researched and said my goodbye to things and thought I was prepared to cut it out of my diet (was even looking forward to it a little, since I was supposed to feel so much better) and then the docs says, no, it's gluten and dairy. Which. Gah. I can barely comprehend, I tell you.

The blooming onion was excellent. :) I have some left over that intend to eat in forty minutes or so, since I have to fast after midnight (when I have to do that I always eat as close to midnight as I can, so I won't be too hungry the next day).

Shit. That sucks on so many levels, but don't worry too much. You'll find a ways to make it work out. There's a book I have called "Sweet Alternatives" which all about making gluten/dairy free desserts. And it's really good!
<3

I'm sorry, that sounds really hard. Maybe all those good things will happen, though, and you'll find new favorites from new food thingies! :) *cheers*

Good luck, bb.

There is some lactose free cheese - but not every cheese is made this way.
*hugs*
At last you know more, hope they know for sure soon and can help you.

"Gluten and dairy. " Dude! :O No no no no no no, this is wrong in so many levels. O_o

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I love cheese. (This seems random, but is, in fact, relevant.)

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Your Beta here....

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