Yeah, I've been reading some of the stuff written lately about the slash fandom, but reading some of this Max/Alec stuff made me want to focus on how that misogyny is even in fandom's het pairings. And a lot of times it doesn't make sense, because if you love that male character so much, and hate that female character so much, then why would want him to be with her in the first place? In stories like that it doesn't reflect well on either character, and it shows not only an, like you said, ingrained misogyny, but also a very skewed view of how relationships should work.

The thing that Bufy and Veronica (and possibly Max, too; I would assume so) is that they're strong. They're not warm, they're not vulnerable or victims.

Exactly. And sometimes, their even a bit of bitch, which I will admit to loving. And you are exactly right about how we'd forgive all those prickly character trait's if the character was male. If it's a man, then he's just tortured and confused, going through some character development, so it doesn't really count, or it even makes him more attractive because he's a challenge. If it's a woman than she's just a horrible person and so obviously does not deserve him. *rolls eyes*