My loans came in.

I want to like, fucking cry in relief. You see, due to some mistake and a whole bunch of misunderstandings, only one of my loans came in last semester, and it wasn't even enough to cover my whole tuition. So, even with my parents helping me out some with rent, I've been scraping just to get enough money to pay utilities every month. Forget about going out with friends or actually shopping for good food. I've been living off of ramen and peanut butter for months.

But not only did my loans for this semester come, my loans for last semester finally came in as well. So even with my tuition and the cost of rent and utilities for the next six months or so, I've got like, six thousand dollars of financial padding.

God, I'm going to go shopping. For food. Real, actual food. That I have to like, cook and everything. And I'm going to donate money to help out Haiti. Just yesterday I was looking at the Misha's Minions page at the UNICEF website, and wishing I had the money to donate. And now I do.

But the first thing I'm going to do after I deposit this check? I'm going out to eat Mexican food with my cousin, who, like me has had her own financial problems and has been surviving on ramen for months. Only unlike me, she has house payments, school tuition and a kid. We're going to eat awesome Mexican food from our favorite restaurant, drink Margaritas, and go see that movie we've both been wanting to see but didn't want to splurge on.

My medication has finally kicked in, and though I don't feel one hundred percent yet, I feel better than I have in months and it is time to celebrate.
So, I tried to pay my rent online for the first time this month. Last month, I didn't know how, so my roommate just paid the whole thing and then had me pay her. However, she showed me how to do it online and I thought that was how we were going to do it from now on. Apparently not, since a few days ago she asked why I hadn't paid her rent yet. I guess she had already paid the whole thing this month, and then expected me to give her a check, when I told her that I paid online she grew upset because she needed the money to fix her car. The conversation was just a little bit awkward.

And then it got worse. She called to check on the account, and they said they didn't get anything from me. Nothing. I don't know how I ended up screwing up the online payment, considering it was very simple form, but I guess some how I did, since they didn't any form at all from me. I learned about this yesterday when, while I was napping in my room, Lys was talking to her parents on the phone right outside my door. I heard her talking about how she didn't want to believe that I'm just trying to get out of rent, but maybe that was just because she always "looked for the good in people."

Gah. Now I feel like the shitty roommate who can't depended on. Sometimes I really hate the iternet. This isn't the first time it has screwed me over in some way.

In any case, today when I was leaving for class I walked into an ambush. Her parents had driven two hours to come here, so they could talk to me about rent and then told me they wanted me to sign a contract with Lys saying that I will pay my rent on time from now on or she will take me to small claims court and kick me out of the apartment. I think that's a bit of an overreaction, since it was just a mixup, but I was getting late to class and I was outnumbered three to one in my living room, with these people I've never met before but are co-signers on the lease, so I said I would.

*sigh* I like my roommates, and it's not hard to live with them, but sometimes I really wish I could have found an affordable apartment for just myself.

In related news, I still haven't received my student loans. Apparently, the loan company screwed up or something, because two thousand students forms were lost--they said they had never applied at all, even though they did--and now I have to go through the whole loan process again. This sucks.
aisalynn: (Default)
( Aug. 30th, 2009 05:32 pm)
I signed up for a writing fundraiser for Doctors Without Borders today. (Check it out here!) I'm offering up a timestamp to my J2 fic, This Lane Closed. Already have most of it planned out, but I'm pushing it aside so I can focus on another J2 AU I'm working on (They have taken over my braaaiiiiin!!!) right now. It's taking a little longer than I thought it would because it's centered around a playlist, and I need to go through a whole lot of music to find lyrics that fit. (This is not a songfic however, I just need bits and pieces to fit with the theme.)

Anyway, the fundraiser and actually having a deadline should make sure that my timestamp fic idea doesn't just fall in the cracks while I work on this. Hopefully, anyway.

I should probably, however, stop focusing so much on fandom and actually read a little of the introduction to Shakespeare I have to get done. I really wish we just jumped right in with the plays for this class, the intro is over a hundred pages long and extremely dry.
aisalynn: (Default)
( May. 4th, 2009 09:34 pm)
Today has been a very bad day. Here's what happened:

So early this morning, while I was working on a revised story for my fiction class, I decided to eat a slice of left of pizza, 'cause I was hungry.

Bad idea.

Apparently that pizza had gone bad or something because I spent most of the day hovering over a toilet, praying that I would just get it over with and throw my guts up. So I didn't get much studying done, though I did manage to finish the story.

Too bad my computer freaked out and would let me upload it for a very long time. I had to struggle with it, and by the time I did get it to where I could print it out I was nearly running late. So I headed over to my final without the refresher study session, and on the way there I realized I had forgotten to buy a manila folder to put my work in.

I detoured to the book store, and the line was forever long. When I finally got to the lab to print out my story I found out that instead of uploading the old version and the revised version I just uploaded the old version. Twice.

I had to run all the way back to my dorm, go up EIGHT FLIGHTS OF STAIRS, re-upload my story, go downstairs, print it out and wait for the snarky desk attendant to give it to me, which she took forever to do, because it was apparently too much for her to reach down and grab the papers from the printer while telling the person in front of me where to sign.

I think the ability to multitask should be a job requirement.

So, by the time I got to my final I was over twenty minutes late, out of breath, exhausted from lack of sleep, still feeling sick and so stressed out that I could barely think. I couldn't even remember the steps in Freytag's Triangle for gods sake, and I learned that in Junior High.

I still haven't slept, 'cause I didn't want to sleep through the House episode tonight. And that was disappointment.

The beginning rocked, I loved how much Wilson was in it but once they brought Cuddy in I was pissed.

I hope that was cryptic enough. Don't want to spoil anyone.

Ugh. Two more finals to go.

Is it over yet?
aisalynn: (Default)
( May. 4th, 2009 01:04 am)
What's this you say? I am a writer?

Not a video editor or a graphic designer?

And what? I have unfinished fics on my hard drive waiting for my return and instead I am using all my time playing around with photoshop and adobe premiere?

Oh? My professor won't accept "I was busy making desktop wallpapers" as an excuse for not having my flash fiction portfolio done?

Hmmm. This is something to think about.
aisalynn: (NineRose)
( Apr. 23rd, 2009 03:09 am)
So, I know it only been like, a couple of days since I posted my whole "going on a break" entry, but I can't sleep thanks to this SERIOUSLY UNCOMFORTABLE UTI that I'm currently enduring, and I'm pretty ticked off right now 'cause of my roommate and her boyfriend.

They've been seriously annoying me lately. He's been here, staying in this extremely tiny room for nearly THREE WEEKS STRAIGHT, and today, when my RA came to ask where we were living next semester, he was the one who opened the door. And apparently she smells something on his jacket or something, because five minutes later we have the police at our door, wanting to do a SEARCH for MARIJUANA.

Great. Just great.

Of course, they didn't find anything--although I know Carlton does smoke it, just not here. It would be disrespectful, he says--but still. They went through the whole process of looking through our stuff and bringing the dog in to sniff everything, and then they interrogated us and accused us of being high right then--trying to get us to just crack and confess and tell them where it was.

In two years living on this floor, there has never been a drug search, even though there were people who did drugs in their room, and when it does happen, it happens to my room.

Aren't I just lucky.


I can't wait for this semester to be over. And yay for finding an apartment for next year.

In other news, I just wrote something for a Nine/Rose ficathon (which can be found here) tonight, because once again, I can't sleep, and because I haven't read or written anything for Doctor Who in a while, and I miss it.
aisalynn: (labyrinth sarah)
( Apr. 20th, 2009 01:13 pm)
So, I've been a little absent over the internet here lately. I've had a whole lot going on in my life--job searching, apartment hunting, my mother hurting her back and wanting to sue her job, my mother also possibly having cancer (the biopsy was negative, thank god. But we still don't know whats wrong), babysitting, and lets just throw in a family feud--of which I am the only line of communication between sides--just for good measure. I was surprised I managed to finish and post my stuff for Seasonal_Spuffy, and I had to lose a whole lot of sleep to do it.

In any case, I had a little time in between classes and I thought I'd post and make an "official" break announcement. (Not that I post a whole lot anyway. I mean, I've had this journal for almost five years and this is only my 200th post.) But the semester is coming to an end and I still have three huge papers, a collection of revised short stories, a big semster project to finish and finals to study for, so I'm not going to be online much. That isn't to say that I'm going to dissapear all together, I'll still probably read a few things and comment every now and then, and if I manage to find time to write anything not for a class, I'll probably go ahead and post it. But I won't be too active on here.

Also, I owe a HUGE apology to Angearia. I am so sorry that I haven't been answering your e-mails, hun, and I know I am seriously failing in my duties as beta. But my life got to the point where I didn't even check my e-mail for about a week (and boy was that scarey when I finally did! *shudders*) Perhaps you will accept my first animated sidebar that I made when my life wasn't a mess as an apology?

*looks very contrite and pathetic*

Ha! It matches my mood pic!

I'm miserable.

This weekend was horrible, what with the funeral plans and the picture sorting and the lack of sleep and my confrontational mother and over-concerned father and the possible rift that might happen between my mom and my aunt because my grandmother had everything put in a trust in my mother's name and cut my aunt completely out--I'm exhausted.

And to top that off, I'm sick. Like, fever, sore throat, chills, stuffy nose, loads of mucus (you really wanted to know that, huh?) and dizzyness anytime I attempt to stand up. But still, I'm back on campus and going to class because I can't miss my British Literature class or my grade will go down a whole letter, and the professor already stated at the beginning of the semster that he didn't care if anyone died in the family. In fact, I believe his exact words were, "A lot of grandmother's die in my class."


And on top of all this, I am experiencing the Period From Hell this week, where not only do I get my usual immobilizing cramps, but an unusual sharp pain that causes me to be unable to stand up straight.

I want to go to sleep, and not wake up until this week is over.

But I can't do that. There's still the viewing and funeral this week, and besides, thanks to my headache and sorethroat, I'm having trouble sleeping anyway. So instead, I'll do what I usually do when I'm sick and can't sleep.

Watch cartoons.

Last time it was Gargoyles and I watched it so much that I practically started hallucinating about it. This time its anime: Rurouni Kenshin. I loved that show when it as on Cartoon Network, and loved the manga even more (though  I can't afford to buy all of it) so I'm rewatching it. I'm definately watching Rurouni Kenshin and not the Samurai X OVAs though, 'cause everytime I watch them I'm always a blubbering mess by the time I get to Reflections, and that's not exactly what I need right now.

So yay Kenshin and his backward way of talking and forced clumsiness!

Oh, and thank you to everyone who commented with their kind words and wishes. It was nice to read them after that horrible Saturday of pretending that nothing was wrong to my siblings. You guys are awesome. :) Thank you so much.
aisalynn: (Default)
( Feb. 26th, 2009 11:51 pm)

So, I've stressed many times about how I am not living in the dorms next year. The plan was to get an apartment with my friend Kristen, BUT her current landlord kept pressuring her about whether or not she was going to sign the lease again and because we hadn't looked for apartment yet, she went ahead and signed it, leaving me with no one to live with. (So not cool) I absolutely cannot afford an apartment on my own. So I just filled out this whole roommate apartment search thing on the internet, figuring that was always an option. I tell my friend Jasmine this and she is all like "Oh, like in the movies?"

I ask her if she think I'm going to get some kind of psycho for a roommate and she's all like, "No! It's like a romance! You know, where she accepts a roommate named Ashlee or something thinking its a girl when it turns out to be a guy. And then they fall in love."

So here I am, worrying about a Single White Female experience, and she's going on about romantic comedies.

And I'm the one who reads fanfiction.

In other news, Buffy has officially taken over my brain. Today in my British Literature class we were discussing Petrachian Sonnets, (you know, where there is one guy waxing poetic for fourteen lines about some magnificent woman who doesn't love them back) and the whole time I kept think. "This sounds like it could be about Spike and Buffy." "I can so see Spike saying that about Buffy." "Receiving the man's ardour with disdain? Oh yeah, that's Buffy."

Yup. My brain has been Buffy-fied.

At least I was able to focus on my midterm paper, which was about Chaucer's The Wife of Bath and how the character can actually be seen as a feminitic character when compared to the message in The Miller's Tale. Despite the Middle English, which was hard to plough through before I finally got the hang of it, it was a fun paper to write. Still, I'm glad its done and I can get back to writing some fanfiction. (Taking over my brain, I tell you!) I've got several plot bunnies nagging me. One of which would be a pretty long chapter fic, if I have the courage (and patience ) to write it. I've always been much better at short, flash fiction style works. But still, this bunny will not go away. Poor Anya would absolutely terrified.

I am once again attempting to write in the study hall (more accuracely named the chatter hall or maybe the social hall) because even though having Miranda and her friend bursting into the room at eleven o'clock at night while I am sleeping to scream and cry about their boyfriends is perfectly acceptable, the quiet tapping of my keyboard while she is trying to sleep is most definately not.

There is like, twelve people in this tiny room, none of whom are studying and I am about to go crazy. I can't think to write with all their nattering, and I can't blair my music loud enough to drown them out.

Can I stress, once again, how absolutely done I am with living in the dorms?
aisalynn: (Brilliant)
( Jan. 28th, 2009 05:56 pm)
Classes were cancelled today! *dances*

One of the few times I am actually grateful for the snow.
aisalynn: (Default)
( Jan. 28th, 2009 12:37 am)
So here I am, trying to sleep and my roommate comes in, turns on the lights, picks up her phone and starts chatting to her best friend. Who is apparently crying.

So of course, like a good friends she is, she invites her friend to come up to our room, so she can cry her poor heart.

And scream.

And curse.

And pace around the room.

With the light still on. Despite the fact that I was trying to sleep.

Okay fine. I can be sympathetic. Never mind the fact that the guy who made her cry is, for all intents a purposes, a complete asshole and she has been saying that she should break up with him for at least the whole three weeks that I've known my new roommate, and she comes crying to this room almost every. freaking. day. I can deal.

Then he calls her on the phone.

And once again I get the soundtrack to some relationship drama over the phone. That, once again just keeps escalating until there's hysterical yelling and sobbing and really, isn't there somewhere more private than someone else's room or a public study lounge to do these things?

And to top it all off today I felt like complete shit--with a sore throat, stuffy nose and huge headache. All I wanted was to sleep.

Doesn't seem like that is going to happen anytime soon.
aisalynn: (Default)
( Jan. 23rd, 2009 03:52 am)
So I'm back in the study lounge.

Why am I back in the study lounge at nearly four in the morning?

The light from my computer keeps my new roommate up. Never mind the fact that I sleep during the day and she doesn't give a shit if she wakes me up in the morning when her and her friend start chattering on the phone to some married guy they both had sex with at some point, or when she blow dries her hair in the room instead of the bathroom, with, I swear, the loudest blow drier I have heard in my life.

The only reason I'm giving in is because I didn't come back until after three this morning and I know I woke her up when I came in.

I am too damn nice.

Some chick is also in this study lounge, currently having a very heated and tearful argument with her boyfriend. I would leave to give her privacy (though she doesn't seem to care that I am here, by the sound of everything) but I have to get this story done for my fiction writing class, and there is no where else to go.

I am so done with dorm life.
aisalynn: (awesome)
( Jan. 17th, 2009 06:20 pm)

So, new semester, new classes and a new roommate. A new roommate who, at the moment, has taken over the room so she can have wild monkey sex with her boyfriend. I am banished to the study lounge during this time, but, Miranda assures me, it should only be for about twenty minutes.

Apparently they are very quick wild monkeys.

I seriously need to get out of here.

Unfortunately, this semester most of my friends have either left or graduated (the downfall of making friends with upperclassmen) and the ones that are still here are either home for the weekend or not answering their phones. So I'm stuck here for the evening it seems, bored out of my mind and banished to the study lounge, where I can hear all the annoying people in my dorm.

I really, really wish I had my own place. Really.

In other news, this semester I have three English classes that I think I'm going to love: British Literature, Fiction Writing and Reading and Writing about Literature. I like all the professors, and my fiction writing class is going to focus on flash fiction. Which is awesome. I still have to take a horrible spanish class, (taught by an overwight man who likes to burst into song--very off key--and has a tendancy to call his students "chickies") and retake my math class from freshman year, but at least I like my English classes.

Oh, and my math class is being taught by a shorter, non-jewish Leonard Nimoy. Like seriously, he looks just like him. And the first day of class he was wearing black pants with a blue sweater the exact shade as the uniform from The Original Series, and it took all my self control not to giggle when he said that the class "wasn't so much mathematics as it was logic."

I think it has been twenty minutes by now, but I'm going to wait a little longer (or a lot longer).

Just in case.


aisalynn: (Killing)
( Oct. 14th, 2008 06:59 pm)

I swear, this loan shit is going to drive me insane. I mean it. Any more of this crap and this time next year you'll find me as a long time resident of the loony bin. So my mom totally screwed up the forms for the last loan, because she accidentally reversed two digits in her social security number, giving her the credit report of someone else. A bad credit report apparently, since we were denied. And that loan company just didn't want to deal with straightening it all out. So here we are, doing everything over again. Again again. This is the third fucking time I've applied for a loan in these past two months. Last night I finish up the loan application, go to the webpage to send it and what do I need? An electronic signature. Well, that would be fine if the electronic signature didn't require me to open up a fricking .pdf file.

For some reason, despite the fact that I have downloaded an Adobe Reader program, my computer still tries to open .pdf files with Adobe Acrobat 8, which I don't have and which I don't want to buy. Now, I've worked around this before, if I save and download the file to my computer and open it with my own Reader, it works fine. The only problem was that the loan company's website had their files freaking embedded and I couldn't download it. So I couldn't sign the freaking form.

I was so frustrated.

Then, my parents called me, because they couldn't finish their co-signer application until I had finished my application. My dad seriously rips the phone away from my mother and starts screaming into the phone about how this is all my fault and how I'm not going to get an education and it wasn't his fault and how they weren't going to help me dig my way out of this mess if all I do is lay on my ass and write all day, instead of finishing my loan application like I said I would. Which of course I did except for that damn signature.

And you know, its so funny about how they sit there and yell at me about doing my part, when I had to do all of there forms for the past two applications, and how it took Dad three whole weeks to get me a simple work reference. Three weeks! And they go on about how they can't do everything for me. *rolls eyes*

Anyway, my mom finally got the phone away from my dad and I had to walk her through signing the application for me over the phone. You know, giving her all my information and my screen name and password and the correct spelling for everything and telling her what links to click when all the while I have no idea what exactly she is looking at on the screen... Oh yeah, that was a whole lot of fun, let me tell you.

I just hope this works out. *prays that it does*

On a side note, I have been ripping parts of my friend's Buffy dvds to made fanvideos with. Spike/Buffy moments to be specific. I've never done it this way before, all my Doctor Who videos were made from clips I had downloaded off the internet. This way makes better quality, but takes up a lot more time and space.

But its so much fun to speed up the video with the encrypting program and watch all of the intense Spike and Buffy moments acted out by what sounds like the Chipmunks. :D

OH! On another side note--House was AMAZING last night! I mean, just beautiful. We found out how House and Wilson met! And the funeral scene! And the ending! I'm glad my roommate wasn't here, or she would have thought I was insane with the amount of squeeing/squeeling/jumping up and down/crying that I did.

That was seriously like, the best episode. Ever.

aisalynn: (Break)
( Sep. 17th, 2008 03:22 pm)

Today has been a very bad day. I'm shakey and nervous, my face is puffy and I serously need to calm down.

I was denied the loan.

The stupid bank dragged out the process for months and now I'm partway through the semester, already owe two thousand dollars to the school and I don't have the money. Not to mention the sixteen thousand dollars I already owe for my first year of college which means nothing if I don't finish school.

I'm freaking out. A bit. Had what seemed to be a minor panic attack when I was on the phone with my friend. She's gonna come over later and we're going to go out. She says she's "going to do her goddamn best to cheer me up." Bless her.

I have no more classes... I think I'm just going to listen to some Simon and Garfunkel and read fanfiction until she gets here... and you know, keep breathing.


I really, really hate my Spanish professor. I am working on the assignment from HELL right now. It's taken me over five hours and it's only half way done. And tomorrow is a test and I've only gotten lke, three hours of sleep in nearly 48 hours now and I think I am just going to die from exhaustion. Just keel over and die.

On the plus side, House tomorrow! (er, tonight!)

New school year, and a new lunch staff at the grill/grocery downstairs and for some reason the fries are so  much better than they were last year, like amazing. And for some reason, though they have run out of almost everything else, they have plenty of fries, which is a complete change from last year, when they were always low on them.

I find myself wondering if there just might be giant, ugly bats sleeping in the storage closets downstairs... 

But then, I don't feel any smarter. (sadly)

...maybe I should lay off the DW for a while...

So, tonight me and [ profile] crushingpretty  went to our college's first "Writer's Community" meeting. I was looking forward to it, expecting it to sort of be how it is here, on livejournal. You know, taking enjoyment in other's writing, and in exchanging ideas and prompts and challenges and giving each other advice...and I've always found the writing community here on lj to be fairly warm and welcoming, and I was hoping it would be the same for this "Community."

Well, it wasn't, not really.

I just found many people there to be... I don't know, pretentious. I mean, the way they spoke and acted, it was like, because we are writers we are supposed to feel emotions different than other people, to find special meaning in things like dead leaves and road kill (one guy really did read a poem for like, twenty minutes, that was about his fixation on a dead squirrel that lasted for nine months). Not to say, that one can't find meaning in these things, but it was like, writers find them beause "normal" people can't. Like we are somehow deeper, because we like the written word.

And, I don't know, I've just never believed that. That artists, writers, musicians are somehow more deep, or more spiritual than everyone else by rule. Nor do I feel that if a poem or story is so complicated that it you can't understand it, it automatically makes it good, that if you pile on so many metaphors and images and seemingly random thoughts, that it will be striking, and meaningful. Maybe it's just me, but I've always thought that a good writer takes common, but complex emotions and ideas that many people unknowingly share, and clarifies them somehow, making people go, "Oh! That is exactly right! That is exactly how I feel, and yet I never thought of it that way!" I've always thought a good writer creates a connection with other people, rather than searching for something that is "deep" or "different" and throwing lots of crap on it to make it seem complicated and out of reach, just so you can feel superior to everyone else.

Am I being silly? Should I feel as dissapointed as I do?

In any case, it made appreciate a lot of the writers here on the net. 'Cause I think its great that we just post stuff up here for people to read because we know they share the same love for writing/reading/shows/characters that we do. That we can share ideas and criticisms, and do little games like drabble tag and rpgs and fanfic memes, and just really enjoy writing without all the serious I-am-a-writer-therefore-if-you-read-my-stuff-you-are-looking-into-my-soul stuff.

So, coming back I was a little miffed, and somehow I ended up writing some poetry for the first time in like, years. It was written pretty fast, and is probably really crappy, but it's sort of my response to the meeting, in a sort of mocking way, I suppose... I don't know. It's probably crap. My poetry always was. But hey, at least I did something original! Haven't done that in a while.

Listen )

[Error: unknown template qotd] The Doctor, no question about it. It doesn't matter if it's Nine or Ten, I just know that if I was with him I'd never get bored on the island, we'd probably find some weird alien or supernatural thing to investigate/ save the world from, and if he had the TARDIS, I wouldn't be stranded. (Whether or not I'd actually want to leave the island is another matter.) 


I'm bored and at the library again, waiting for my next classes to start. I have Communication and my English class later today, the communication being the small lab thing, rather than the lecture to 500+ people. Which was taught by a woman with an extremely high voice in a hot pink dress suit and like, six inch black heels, who spent the last half othe class talking about her three kids and all their athletic accomplishments. 

It was not fun. 

Still haven't gotten my books yet, having issues with the loan. I wish all of it would just hurry up, I'm getting kind of anxious.


aisalynn: (Default)


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