My cousin and I went to a strip club to see midget wrestling tonight. The plan was to arrive late, stay for the wrestling then leave, since bouncing boobs and pole dancing aren't exactly keen points of interests to us, but they spread the wrestling matches throughout the night, and our friend Atley kept buying us drinks, so we ended up staying six hours.
And I had a lap dance.
Correction: I was forced to have a lap dance. Stupid Atley and his sadistic sense of humor. The (extremely) skinny girl rubbed her boobs up and down my face, turned around, slapped her ass a few times in front of me, then sat down and proceeded to hop up and down on my lap, continuously wiggling her hips against my thighs even though it obviously didn't do anything for me.
Afterwards she smiled at me and informed me that she was happy to have popped my lap dance cherry.
*sigh* At least this night will give me stories to tell years from now.
The highlight of the evening (I mean, besides the wrestlers hitting one another over the head with what looked like the foil coverings for store bought lasagnas) was the stripper who came out in a Gumby suit (Seriously) and dance on the pole in it. It was quite a sight to see.
Using my Max/Alec icon because it's from the episode where they have to go into the strip club. It seems appropriate.