Had the endoscopy today. Was a little nervous about it, but the good thing is that my appointment was at 10:30 in the morning and they were a half hour behind, so I got to watch an episode of Supernatural on TNT while I waited, which made things a little better. :) (Although my mother was watching with me and she said she thought neither Jared nor Jensen were cute at all. *horrified gasp*)

Well, the doc said just looking at things that it doesn't seem like I have Celiac's or any kind of bacterial infection, but that they took biopsies anyway, and that we'll get the results of those later.

Man, they gave me so much drugs. I was knocked out. Apparently, they give more sedative to young people because we're supposed to have a high metabolism, but what they forgot to take into account was the fact that I have hypothyroidism and that I have a lower metabolism because of it. (Not to mention that if I'm sleeping so much my metabolism is going to be slow anyway.) So, instead of waking up and being slightly sleepy when I got home, I could barely walk out of the car (my dad had to help me) and I was in a drugged sleep all day. Apparently my mother woke me up several times to give me my thyroid medication then my vitamin D supplement, but I don't remember either.

The doctor came and talked to us for about ten minutes after the procedure, but I don't really remember much of it. My mom recorded the conversation on her iPhone though, and well, it was really weird listening to it. I talked to the doctor for a good while, but I don't remember saying all these things. I think I wavering in and out with the drugs, because sometime I sounded perfectly awake, and was asking perfectly logical questions and responding properly to what the doctor said, and at other I just kept going on about how much I love cheese and how I didn't want to give it up, and how I knew I had a milk allergy for years and in high school I would pay the extra five cents everyday to get the watery orange drink rather than a milk pint.

Yeah. Totally drugged, haha.

Anyway, I did talk to him about giving up both gluten and milk, and he said that it was something doctor's do to figure out if it'll make me feel better, but that he doesn't think my milk allergy would have anything to do with my fatigue, and that it makes sense to only give up one at a time, to see which one helps (if any) than to give up both at the same time and not know which effected me.

So that's what I'm going to do.

Goodbye gluten. *waves sadly*

Tomorrow mom and I are going over Whole Foods to check out what they have, because Lord knows my house right now is a gluten fest.

So gluten-free here I come. And I think that deserves the brave Scarlett icon, though it's funny that it's taken from the scene where she swears never to be hungry again and I'm deciding to give up a large portion of my diet.

Once again I am in an empty room at the church my sister works at, writing a gay love story while waiting for her to be done. Or, well, frantically editing a gay love story, since I just realized that I have just eight days until my Big Bang posting date and I'm not with this beast of a story. Which reminds me, I already have a beta but anyone on my flist willing to give this a read through and tell me what they think? You don't have to some serious beta-ing (unless, of course you want to) I'm just looking for general reactions and thoughts. You know, whether the progression and characterizations seem natural. I realize that this is a horrible thing to ask with just little over a week before my posting date, but I kinda got distracted with all this health crap and got behind. (It's kinda hard to write and edit when you are sleeping most of the time.)

Speaking of the Health Crap, I got the test results back on the celiac's panel and they were negative. However, they still want me to go through with the upper endoscopy tomorrow because they want to look for a some kind of bacterial infection in my intestines. Also, the food allergy IGE came back and, just like I thought, I'm allergic to milk.

Hah. Take that, Mother. I told you years ago when you were forcing me to drink milk with every meal that I got sick and thought I was lactose intolerant or something, and you always just scoffed at me. Well look. I am. And if you had stopped giving it to me as a child I might have grown out of it.

My triumph on that account is almost completely dwarfed, however, by my absolute horror at the fact that my doctor thinks that I might still be gluten sensitive and that even though my allergy to milk is mild, and I don't have any sort of reaction to say, cheese, I should give up both gluten and dairy for good.

Gluten and dairy.


I literally, literally cried when my mother told me this.

Now, I've been told I'll get over this, that this could be good for me because I'll expand my food horizons and be healthier and probably learn to cook since if I want to eat anything than just slabs of meat and salad I'll have to cook my own meals, and that after a while I won't miss these foods at all, but still I can't help but be upset, because, well, cheese.

I love it. My one consolation when I heard I might have to live gluten free, was that at least I could still have nachos. (You have no idea how much I love nachos.)

Well, since this might be my last night of gluten and dairy, my little sister and I are going out to eat. I'm getting a blooming onion, since I love it so much and will definitely miss it. I tried to force my friend Jasmine to go with me, but she said she just got off work and was too tired and wanted to take a nap. *Makes face at her* Bah. I've been exhausted for a year now. If I stay awake for more than five hours straight I get so tired I feel like crying, and still I drag myself out of bed to see her when she complains that it seems like I fell off the face of the earth, she sees me so little. *sticks tongue out at her*

Not that I'm really mad at her. Just at the world in general, my doctor who can't give me anything definite but still wants me to drastically change my diet for the rest of my life, and my bad luck. :(

Now I'm going to go back to editing my J2 love story to make myself feel better.
Yesterday I went to the GI doctor. After giving her a list of symptoms as long as my leg and the entire story of my life for the past year, she took one look at my lab (either the TTG or the IGG, I'm not sure. I've had so many blood tests done that I can't even keep track anymore) and told me I probably do have Celiac's disease. Wonderful.

She's running a full Celiac's panel just to sure, as well as food allergy IGE (there's another five tubes of my blood for the hospital to play with) and we've scheduled an upper endoscopy for next Wednesday. So I guess we'll know for sure by then.

Part of me wants it to be true, simply because then I'll know what is wrong and I can start getting my life back (actually, I'm told that you get Celiac's disease from the first time you ever eat gluten, so if it's true my health will be better than it has have been. I wonder what it would be like to have energy. Huh. ) but most of my is praying that it isn't, because I really love flour. I love bread, and cookies and brownies and breaded chicken, and I was looking at lists of candy that have gluten in and there's a horrible amount of my favorites in there.

(Reese's minis? How will I survive without them?)

My doctor told me not to cut back on the gluten while we wait to find out, because that could make the test a false negative, so I've been gorging myself on it. There is, in fact, and open bag of Reese's minis right beside me, and yesterday I went out to eat at O'Charley's (I love their rolls. I'll miss them.) and the other day I went and ate at the Olive Garden. I'm planning on eating pizza the night before my endoscopy, because I know that ordering pizza when I'm hanging out with my friends will be something I really miss.

Oh my god. I just realized. The fried onion flower? You know, my favorite food item in the world, the thing I posted about when Writer's Block asked about our choice of last meal, the thing that I totally got excited about when Spike started going on about this "onion thing" in the later seasons of Buffy because I loved it as much as he did? Yeah. It's breaded. With flour.

Oh god. If this test is positive I'm never going to get to eat it again.


In an unrelated note, I've been rewatching a few season 1 Veronica Mars episodes today, and you know who I'm starting to ship a little? Veronica and Meg. I don't read a whole lot of femmeslash, but sometimes the idea will really stick with me. (For instance, Buffy and Faith. Despite my usual fanatic OTPness when it comes to Spuffy, whenever Buffy and Faith are in a scene together I can't help but ship them, and I was totally feeling it season 3.) Anyway. I love Veronica and Meg together, even just as good friends. Which makes what happened in season 2 all the more sad.

It's funny how much I like Alona Tal in Veronica Mars, considering how much her character Jo annoyed me in Supernatural. I don't know, her wannabe hunter act was a little annoying, and I always thought she seemed far too young for Dean. (Jo and Sam, however? I could actually see.) Of course, I absolutely loved her in her one episode in season 5, thought her character seemed a lot more grown up--more hunter than wannabe hunter, so I'm not happy about the end of that episode, considering she had just started to be awesome.

Speaking of those rare female Supernatural characters, I've been creating .avi clips to edit with (I'm vidding again! Yay! And I am so excited about what I'm working on right now.) and at the moment I'm working on season three.

Can I just say again, how much I love Ruby in that season? I mean, I realize that love for Ruby seems to be an unpopular opinion in this fandom, but I thought she was awesome in that season. Totally badass, with her confrontational attitude and her witchcraft and the way she kept saving the boys' life. I didn't trust her then, but I wanted to. And I thought she was totally more believable as the good-demon-with-regret than in season 4, where I thought her manipulation was more obvious.

I miss Katie Cassidy's Ruby. She rocked.
Hey, all.

I know I've been absent on LJ here lately (And right in the middle of my 30 Days of TV meme. See I told you guys I wouldn't be able to keep up with that thing every day.) but it's been a real stressful few weeks.

I've had like, six doctor's appointments in the past two weeks, my blood drawn for tests four times, an adrenal stimulus test and an MRI.

I'm still exhausted all the time, and I generally feel like crap, but my Endocrinologist says my thyroid levels are as perfect as they are going to get, so all my doctors (and I have several, now) are exploring what else could be wrong. My cortisol was low (1.5. I think my doctor said the normal levels for people were like, 6-10) so I took the adrenal stimulus test to see if my adrenal gland would respond to an injection of ACTH. Basically, they were looking for Addison's disease.

Well, my adrenal gland did respond, but my ACTH was low so they're looking for a possible tumor (benign, most likely) in my pituitary gland that could be stopping it from working properly. That's what the MRI was for, though I haven't gotten the results of that yet.

My vitamin B12 was very low as well, and I guess they ran a test of celiac's disease (a disease that stops your body from absorbing nutrients from food, and makes it so you can't tolerate gluton) which was positive, but they won't know if I actually have it until they scope my small intestine. (Yikes!)

Vitamin D is still low, and whatever test they run for possible food allergies was positive as well.

So basically, I have a bunch of stuff wrong with me, but we haven't found the underlying cause yet.

I feel like I'm on a House episode. Only, I hope my life doesn't run the same course as one of the episodes--I don't feel like going through A) cardiac arrest B) anaphylactic shock or C) paralysis before they finally figure out what's wrong with me.

Or any of those weird pysch symptoms either. I can do without the hallucinations, thanks.

Anyway, my life is kind of sucking right now, and I have a job interview later today but I'm not sure how I'm supposed to work eight hours a day, five days a week (no matter how good the pay is) when I can't stay awake for more than five hours straight without falling asleep where I'm standing.

I want this job, because I want to get on with my life, but I don't know if I can do it.


Oh, and that waiter guy I went out with? Yeah, that's not going to happen. Came on WAY to strong, what with the 200 text messages he sent me within the first FIVE days of knowing him, and the three phone calls a day, and how if I didn't text him back within the hour he'd send me more text messages apologizing for saying something wrong, and the fact he started contacting my friends to figure out gifts to give me next time he saw me--all within the first week of knowing him. All of this happened the same time as all the health crap, and it really just stressed me out, so I had to end it.

Unfortunately, the guy can't seem to take no for an answer. He keeps calling and texting me. All. The. Time. He's driving me up the wall.

Well, that's your update on my life, Flist. I have been trying to keep up with my friends list, though I haven't been commenting much, I'm afraid. I've just felt kinda blah here, lately, you know what I mean?
When I'm laying down my cat likes to curl up in the crook of my arm, rest her head on my chest and knead my neck and shoulder as I pet her. Since getting my tonsils removed however, my neck is swollen and tender and it hurts when she does that. I've been lying in bed for a week now, which she has seen as ample opportunity to curl up with me, but she gets very confused and upset when I push her away from my neck. She's at the foot of my bed right now, sulking.

Poor thing. Mommy still loves you, I swear.

Even if you do have an annoying habit of peeing on my bedroom floor. *sigh*

Seventh day since getting my tonsils removed, and I'm still not talking, just gesturing and writing things down. My dad keeps trying to get me to talk, saying that I need to or my throat won't heal right--which is utter bull shit, 'cause I know people who didn't say a word for at least two weeks after getting their tonsils removed and their fine. It hurts when I talk, and I sound like I'm deaf so people have trouble understanding me, so I don't see the point.

I think the scabs in the back of my throat are about ready to fall off, which is gross and uncomfortable. I keep eating popsicles. I didn't like them at the beginning--too cold--but they're doing wonders to sooth my throat now that it's all scratchy from the scabs.

I've cut down on the pain medicine--only taking it about twice a day now--which is good, because it made me feel nauseous and it burned going down, making me gag and cry.

All in all, this has been a very unpleasant experience, to say the least. But my doctor's tell me it was worth it--apparently my tonsils were far more infected than I thought. They said it was the worse they'd seen in a while.

Big Bang reveal was posted. I'm so excited about my artist. I can't wait to see what she comes up with. :D


aisalynn: (Default)


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