aisalynn: (Default)
( Jun. 8th, 2010 04:25 pm)
I have a date tonight. :) Hopefully this will go much better than the last first date I went on.

Oh, and my parents are pissed because I decided to meet the guy there rather than have him pick me up. They really wanted to meet him, but I'm not sixteen, and I don't need to have my father shake his hand, looking him square in the eye and tell him to have me home at a decent time or any such crap. I'm nearly twenty-two, and in my rules parents don't get to meet the guy until after I decide if it's going anywhere. So suck it up parents.

Also, I don't like the idea of getting in a car with a stranger. If I had known him a little before he'd asked me out sure, but since I've known him for less than four days, excuse me for wanting to be safe and drive my own car. Call me overcautious, but that's just the way it is.
I think my mother is having some kind of OCD freak out. She's been vacuuming her room for two days now, and half an hour ago she had me vacuum her bed with the vacuum nozzle inch by inch, because she'd already done it twice and she didn't have an energy for a third time. Yesterday she was frantically stomping around the house with a bottle of Windex in one hand and a fly swatter in the other, and kept saying things like "There can be a thousand dust mites in just a dot the size of a pin! A pin!" Today she started screaming at my dad because he apparently didn't wash his hands well enough from when he came in from the outside and she could see the dirt he left everywhere. It took her the entire cupboard of cups to find one she could drink out of because she said every single cup was dirty even though I went and looked through them and there was nothing wrong with them.

She's rather scary at the moment and I've been hiding in my room or outside, and happily took the errand of running to get her a whole new set of pillows (because her old ones could have too many dust mites) just so I could get away.

She also keeps yelling at me for being tired all the time and dozing off every time I sit down--even though she knows that it's not my fault and it's not like I'm just being lazy. I can't help it, I'm tired all the time and the doctor refuses to up my medication. *growls in frustration*
aisalynn: (Default)
( May. 26th, 2010 11:48 am)
Dear person I am baby sitting for:

Please do not tell me to arrive at a certain time early in the morning, and then sit around for an hour after I get there watching TV before you leave, therefore forcing me to be at your house an hour longer than I would have been if you had just left when I got there. It's rude, and I'm sleep deprived.

Thanks ever so much,

aisalynn: (Default)
( May. 25th, 2010 05:27 pm)
I'm hanging out in an empty room at the church my little sister works at right now--she watches kids for an hour and a half while their moms take a zumba class in the gym. She doesn't have her driver's license yet, and it's my turn to take her and then hang out until she's done--usually I just sit in the car with the radio and a book, or the portable DVD player my mom bought for my nephew, but today it's hot and I don't have AC in my car, so I brought my laptop inside.

And what am I doing while waiting for my sister to finish up? Working on the smut scene in my Big Bang fic.

This makes me snicker a little.
When I'm laying down my cat likes to curl up in the crook of my arm, rest her head on my chest and knead my neck and shoulder as I pet her. Since getting my tonsils removed however, my neck is swollen and tender and it hurts when she does that. I've been lying in bed for a week now, which she has seen as ample opportunity to curl up with me, but she gets very confused and upset when I push her away from my neck. She's at the foot of my bed right now, sulking.

Poor thing. Mommy still loves you, I swear.

Even if you do have an annoying habit of peeing on my bedroom floor. *sigh*

Seventh day since getting my tonsils removed, and I'm still not talking, just gesturing and writing things down. My dad keeps trying to get me to talk, saying that I need to or my throat won't heal right--which is utter bull shit, 'cause I know people who didn't say a word for at least two weeks after getting their tonsils removed and their fine. It hurts when I talk, and I sound like I'm deaf so people have trouble understanding me, so I don't see the point.

I think the scabs in the back of my throat are about ready to fall off, which is gross and uncomfortable. I keep eating popsicles. I didn't like them at the beginning--too cold--but they're doing wonders to sooth my throat now that it's all scratchy from the scabs.

I've cut down on the pain medicine--only taking it about twice a day now--which is good, because it made me feel nauseous and it burned going down, making me gag and cry.

All in all, this has been a very unpleasant experience, to say the least. But my doctor's tell me it was worth it--apparently my tonsils were far more infected than I thought. They said it was the worse they'd seen in a while.

Big Bang reveal was posted. I'm so excited about my artist. I can't wait to see what she comes up with. :D
So my friends wanted me to go out to a club with them tonight, but I denied because, as most of my flist is highly aware of, it's Supernatural Thursday, and my little sister gets pissy when I make plans and don't watch it with her. We've had a standing Thursday night double date with Dean and Sam since she got into Supernatural, and I've just stopped making plans for Thursdays.

But TODAY, even though I told Emily about the club plans and she was all happy I decided not to go and stay here at my parents house with her, she invites her boyfriend over to spend time with her, assuring me that "Tyler will just watch Supernatural with us, whether he likes it or not." Of course, ten minutes till the episode and they're in the middle of a movie, Tyler doesn't want to watch "that stupid ghost show," and there isn't another available TV in the house.


I like Tyler, I do. He's better than any of the other guys my sister has dated. What I DON'T like is how he'll spend all day with her at school, then hours with her after school, then call an hour after they separate and get pissed off because Emily is spending time with me and can't talk. So then Emily feels guilty and sits there and texts him throughout the entire episode we're watching. Shouldn't that need to be together all the time fade just a little after two years?

If you guys haven't gotten it by now, I'm really close to my sis. She's like, one of my best friends, despite the five year age difference, and always has been. She's one of the few people in my family that doesn't make me nuts, and the only reason I come back home to visit. She likes to joke about how I'm the Dean to her Sam--or the Sam to her Dean, considering my love for my laptop and random urge to research things and her sometimes extreme craving for pie. (No joke.) So I don't appreciate it when her boyfriend gets bitchy because she's spending time with me.

Yeah, I get it. I'm pretty possessive and demanding when it comes to the people I care about, always have been, but I have seriously dialed down my Big Sis protective streak when it comes to him--which is huge considering how often I come across them making out and I just want to tell them they are both far too young--so he needs to Back. The Fuck. Off. when it comes to the one night a week I get to claim my sister's attention.

*glares* Supernatural has started and I'm missing it. I'll download it as soon as it's available, but if he's not gone by the time it's finished, she just out of luck. I'm watching it without her.
It started out terrible--waking up late and rushing for a doctor's appointment that my mother forgot to tell me she had moved to next week, getting a BAD hair cut (The woman chopped my hair off. After I told her I wanted to keep most of the length.).


I got offered a job. :) Or well, had someone demand I put in an application.

So, my parents are enrolling my siblings into the Sylvan Learning Center (Have you heard of it?). Mostly because there are terrible algebra teachers at the high school and Emily wants to be a pediatrician, so she can't afford to have a bad math grade, and Nathan needs a better SAT score to get into Purdue if he wants to have anything to do with planes.

They took the test last week, and today my mom went in to hear the results and figure out what kind of programs they need to be in. She took me along because, as she loves to tell me every time she drags me to something like this, I know how to explain things to her so she can understand them.

So here I am, explaining what these test scores mean, and reading through Emily's test and figuring out how and why she did poorly on the picking out the main idea section, and how exactly T notes help with math and explaining to the woman the types of classes that are held out their highschool and asking the questions Mom forgets but always expects me to remember (this is not the first time she has dragged me to something like this) and then the woman stops, asks me what my major is in college, and tells me I should work there.

In fact, through out the meeting, she kept making comments like, "I can tell you're smart and that you know what you are talking about. We could use you here. Have you thought about teaching? You would be good at it. You want to edit and publish books? That's great. Have you thought about working in a writing tutoring program?"

And basically, giving me an impromptu interview, and trying to sell me on the job right there.

AND THEN, as we were leaving, she told me to sit down, and that she didn't care if I wanted a job there or not, she was not letting me leave without filling out an application. I told her I didn't have a teaching degree, and she said it didn't matter, that I could work under a teacher in the writing program, and that they needed someone with computer and writing skills and that they could find a place for me. And that she was going to personally recommend me.

And here I've been applying to retail and fast food stores. This is WAY better than that.

Cross your fingers for me guys, 'cause I really want this job.
My cousin and I went to a strip club to see midget wrestling tonight. The plan was to arrive late, stay for the wrestling then leave, since bouncing boobs and pole dancing aren't exactly keen points of interests to us, but they spread the wrestling matches throughout the night, and our friend Atley kept buying us drinks, so we ended up staying six hours.

And I had a lap dance.

Correction: I was forced to have a lap dance. Stupid Atley and his sadistic sense of humor. The (extremely) skinny girl rubbed her boobs up and down my face, turned around, slapped her ass a few times in front of me, then sat down and proceeded to hop up and down on my lap, continuously wiggling her hips against my thighs even though it obviously didn't do anything for me.

Afterwards she smiled at me and informed me that she was happy to have popped my lap dance cherry.

*sigh* At least this night will give me stories to tell years from now.

The highlight of the evening (I mean, besides the wrestlers hitting one another over the head with what looked like the foil coverings for store bought lasagnas) was the stripper who came out in a Gumby suit (Seriously) and dance on the pole in it. It was quite a sight to see.

Using my Max/Alec icon because it's from the episode where they have to go into the strip club. It seems appropriate.
My mother just found a box of acne pills on top of the fridge. The kind of pills that you have to get a prescription for, and before they allow you to take them you have to sign a contract swearing that you're not pregnant and that you are not taking any other kind of medicine that the doctor doesn't know about. The same kind of pills that my brother was on that my mom thinks might be the reason for his depression, since it's one of the side of effects. And we don't know whose pills they are.

So, naturally, she is flipping the fuck out.

She's been yelling at my sister, thinking that one of her friends, (Who gave her some face was one time) gave it to her, then yelling at Nathan, then yelling at my dad because his sister once suggested for Nathan the acne prescription she had. The only one she hasn't been yelling at is me, but she keeps having me read the directions and warnings on the box over and over and over again.

I guess I should be pleased she knows I'm not stupid enough to take someone else's prescribed drugs, but really I'm just annoyed.
So, I've gotten my little sister hooked on Supernatural. For the past couple nights now we've been working our way through season 1. Our conversations during go something like this:

Sis: Sam has really nice skin.
Me: Uh, huh.

Sis: Dean has like, pillow lips. And really big eyes. He's far too pretty for a man.
Me: I know.

Sis: Huh. Dean has some serious abandonment issues, doesn't he?
Me: Oh, you have no idea. Just wait till season 2.

Sis: Awww, look at that smile! Crows feet! So adorable.
Me: I know.

Me: And cue Sam's Bitch Face.
Sis: His what face?
Me: Bitch Face, for when he's really annoyed with Dean.
Sis: Oh

Sis: Is he going to use that line every episode?
Me: What line?
Sis: The whole, "I know how you feel," thing.
Me: Oh yeah. That's how he manipulates information out of people. 'Cause he's the "sensitive" one.
Sis: Whereas Dean's the jackass. The hot jackass.
Me: Yup.

Sis: So is that Bitch Face?
Me: No, that's Brood Face.
Sis: What's Brood Face for?
Me: For when he's being all emo and "My girlfriend died, my dad is missing, and I just dropped out of college to spend twenty hours a day packed in a car with my annoying older brother so I can live the crazy, fucked up life I cut all family ties to get away from."
Sis: Well, damn. I'd have Brood Face too.


So far, the re-watch has been really fun. :)
So this year my family's Christmas spirit has been on the lacking side. Being the first Christmas since my grandma passed away, everyone is a little sad (Christmas was always held at her house) and the family is also split in half because of the feud between my mother and my aunt. And now just a few hours ago, my brother-in-law got a call from the hospital to tell him that his dad will probably die today. He's had cancer for a while now, and they were sure this week that he could go any day. Seems that today is that day. He's driving three hours north to try to be with him if he can, while my sister and my nephew are coming here for the not so festive Christmas Eve celebration. It's turning out to be a rather somber Christmas.

Also, for the first time in about ten years my mother has to work on Christmas day. So that means we are putting off our Christmas dinner until the 26th. At this point, we're pretty much just going through the motions of Christmas because ignoring it just seems sacrilegious or something. *sigh*

In any case, I hope the people on my flist who celebrate it have a much happier Christmas than me. :)

On an unrelated, and less dreary note, my sister is watching The Dark Crystal in the kitchen. (I love that movie) And as soon as I heard the name "Jen" for the boy Gelphling, I was imagining a J2 AU version of the movie, with Jensen as Jen and Jared as Kira, the actress who played Missouri as Olgra, and possibly Chad for the traitor Skeksi. (Spelling?) I'm telling you J2 has taken over my braaaaiiin.
So, my cousin Christina has been trying to get me to meet this guy named Josh. She says it's just because we both go to the same college and we'd be good friends, but really, it's not hard to see through that. Especially with her husband grabbing the phone every time she talks about it and asking me if I thought he was hot from the facebook pictures I saw.

Anyway, today I was at her house and her husband came in and mentioned something about hanging out with Josh and the rest of the guys at the Waffle House down the street. When Christina immediately pulled him inside the laundry room to speak to him I knew something was up. When she suddenly decided she was tired and needed to drop me and my little sister back off at our house, it was confirmed. So it was no surprise that instead of driving past the Waffle House she pulls up to it, parks the car and says to me, "How much do you love me?"

Josh and "the rest of the guys" turned out to be a group of seven, all drinking coffee or pop and just sitting in the restaurant for hours smoking cigarette after cigarette. Josh and I smiled awkwardly at each other after we were introduced and exchanged less than three sentences before the conversation was lost to Chad and Bobby's impression of Christina's goofball husband. Thankfully, the whole visit lasted less than fifteen minutes, but I came out with a headache and stinky clothes from all the smoke.

For some reason everyone has been obsessed with my dating life here lately. My dad gave my friend James the "don't you hurt my daughter" talk because he thought we were dating (definitely not), my mother gives me this knowing look any time I mention the name of guy from school, no matter how unimportant that mention is, my little sister tried to set me up with this nineteen year old she met at one of her band's concerts, but it turned out he was more interested in her (which ew, 'cause she's fifteen) and for some reason Christina's husband Jake is obsessed with the idea of me marrying his best friend Chad. Today he sat down next to me, all serious, and tried to make me promise to marry Chad if I turned thirty and neither of us were with someone by then.

I don't get this fascination with my romantic life. And I don't agree with my dad that being twenty-one years old and single makes me "The Mayor of Spinterville."

*rolls eyes*

Using the Doctor Who icon, 'cause it's pretty and I haven't used it in a while. :)
It's four o'clock in the morning and my brother has a girl over. My whole family has checked on them repeatedly throughout the night, so we know that they are just hanging out, but I know for a fact that my parents would have sent her home at midnight if they weren't so happy that he was interested in being social at all. Especially being social with someone who wasn't the slightly insane ex-girlfriend who my parents are half convinced was the source of his depression to begin with.

I just caught them sneaking out of the house, jackets on and dressed in all black, and when I questioned them they said they were going out to jump on the trampoline. I let them go but I've been trying to spy on them. I'm not sure if they are actually on the trampoline or just trying to sneak across the road to the stone quarry to watch the sunset or something--like I did in high school. In any case, I'm tempted to just go out there to see, and if he is there embarrass him by telling him God frowns on premarital sex or something. Especially premarital sex on trampolines.

In other news, I just finished Supernatural 4x13--After School Special. Coach!Dean cracked me up and little Sammy was adorable. I enjoyed the episode before that too, with the magicians, even if Sam pissed me off at the end. I really don't think he got the moral of the story there. But still, there was that awesome scene with Dean and the BDSM dude.

"You've not been had until you've been had by the Chief!"

My brother came home from the stress center, so I'm back home for the weekend. Already I wish I was back at my apartment--I don't have and pillows or blankets for the bed here, I have no desk for my computer, my mother has apparently been lying in bed now for an entire week (with Joan of Arc still in the DVD player, which makes it two weeks straight that she has watched it now.), and my dad has already started complaining to me about how everyone in this house is nuts, and he blames my mother.

This weekend is going to suck.

On the plus side, I went to see District 9 tonight with my siblings, which was great fun. The movie was rather gross at points and left a lot of things unanswered, but I enjoyed it.

I finally got around to updating my fanfiction list, *gestures to link on the sidebar* so now I think most--if not all--of my fiction is linked on there. I had to make several more sections for it, including a link for Real People Fiction, which I'm slightly embarrassed about, but figure I can't deny it since I'm already working on another fic. It's not the timestamp I was planning for my J2 fic, but another AU altogether. *shrugs* The ideas won't leave my brain alone. I have to write them or go mad, and I figure there is already enough insanity in my family, thank you very much.

Oh, and after days of fiddling around with, we have finally declared my external hard drive dead, and all data impossible to retrieve. Funeral service will be held sometime this weekend. It is very possible that a funeral service for my cat will also be held shortly after.

*grumbles bitterly*
Finished season three of Supernatural, as well as the first episode of season 4.

Thoughts here. )

That got a little long. Heh.

Anyway, I've been kind of MIA here lately. I moved into my apartment Saturday, and I've started classes so I've been busy. My brother is still at the stress center, and they've started him on a higher dose of antipsychotics. I'm hoping he'll be able to go home soon. Meanwhile, I'm just happy to be away from the insanity that is my parents.
I feel like crying. My cat knocked my external harddrive off my desk and its not working now. The computer doesn't recognize it, it doesn't even light up, and it just keeps making these short humming noises, like the disk inside is trying to spin but can't.

I just got this thing last Christmas.

These past few weeks have seriously, seriously sucked. It's just one thing after another, with my aunt finally declaring my mother dead to her and saying she never wants to see her again, completely splitting my family up, that fight with my mother and all the tension it has caused in my family, fucking loan issues again, all my friends graduating and moving out of the state, leaving me extremely bored and no where to escape when my family goes nuts, this thing with my brother (who has been declared psychotic by the doctor and is now on anti-psych meds. When I last went to see him, I could barely recognize him, he was so out of it), and now my stupid fucking cat broke my harddrive, which yes, isn't the end of the world, but it had all of my writing, and art and months worth of time and effort spent in fanvideos and ripping dvds to use for fanvideos and all of my music and I just want to Fucking. Scream. with frustration at it all.

This summer was supposed to be all about calming down and collecting myself and getting in a better state of mind after the absolute suckfest that was last semester, and that just hasn't been happening. I feel worse than ever.

And my mother wont stop fucking calling me from her room for the most stupid shit.

School starts monday and I'm already seriously stressed out. I don't see how this semester can go any better than the last one.
I'm at the hotel computer right now, waiting for my family to hurry up and get ready so we can go to breakfast, and avoiding the insanity in our room.

Sharing a hotel room with four other members of your family isn't as fun as it sounds, and it really didn't sound much fun to begin with.

I couldn't get to sleep--I've never been very good at sleeping in hotel rooms, with the terrible air conditioner that is always either two hot or too cold, the steet lights through the window, my little sister randomly rolling on top of me. I finally fell asleep sometime after four, not happy about waking up four hours later, and my dad woke me up around five by jerking awake yelling and cursing.

A bad dream. He gets those a lot.

He doesn't go to bed after that, but roams the room for hours, getting ice, getting milk, grumbling about the bed, the AC, the dark and I really wanted to just grab something off the bedside table and chuck it at him, in the hopes that it would knock him out for a few more hours, but instead I just rolled over and tried to sleep through it all.

No such luck.

Now we've got a theme park to go to, I've had very little sleep and my older sister is already pissed off at my parents and bitching about not wanting to go to breakfast because it will "waste the day," which is just ticking my parents off, so I have to hear them bitch about it.

I might add sororicide to the list.

Supernatural icon because I feel sorry for anyone who has to live in hotels for most of their lives.
aisalynn: (Default)
( Aug. 14th, 2009 03:02 pm)
Getting ready to spend the weekend at Holiday World with my family, which means an entire weekend cooped up with my mother in a hotel room.

Thank god I'm riding with my sister on the way down there. And yay for podfics! I've downloaded like, twenty hours worth of Supernatural podfics to listen to. I think I'm set for the ride. :)
aisalynn: (Default)
( Aug. 12th, 2009 05:49 pm)
So today my little sister drags me out of bed and tells me I'm taking her school shopping--something that was supposed to happen on the of the The Fight, but was put off because of it until now. Only, instead of my mother taking my sister to Khole's or Wal-mart and restricting her to a few pairs of jeans and few shirts, my mother hands me a credit card and tells me to go to the outside mall and "get you guys some clothes and to just try and be reasonable about the price."

Oh yeah. I can recognize a bribe when I see one.

At first I was completely against accepting anything from her--I went through five or six shops with my little sister and didn't buy a thing, just focused on getting her clothes, and then we came to one of my favorites stores--one where I love all the clothes but never buy them because I can't afford it--and decided to hell with it. I bought myself a couple of You-Broke-All-My-Shit shirts and then topped it off at another store with a pair of You-Caused-Me-Serious-Emotional-Distress jeans, and then another shirt just because I could.

I would like to say that I am above guilt money and that I'm going to maintain the Mortally Wounded and Pissed Off attitude I have kept up these past few days, but really it is exhausting to keep giving the silent treatment to someone you live with (yesterday my mother asked me if I was ever going to speak to her again. My answer was a rather angry "Not today."), especially when you yourself are a very laid back, hard to piss off, likes to joke around, forgive and forget type person.

So. I'm still rather pissed off at her, but I'm playing nice to keep the peace in the house for the week I still live here.

I don't know if this makes me a better person, or a weak one.

In other news, I finished my J2 fic, and sent it to my beta. It was nearly 11,000 words. That's pretty long for me. I'm going crazy waiting for it to be sent back, because as my first J2, first RPS, and first ever AU I'm extremely nervous about it.
aisalynn: (Default)
( Aug. 10th, 2009 12:54 pm)
So I came home, because apparently I took it upon myself to leave, my mother didn't kick me out of the house (what utter bullshit) and if I didn't come home everything I owned would be burned in the field.

So here I am.

I've been cleaning up the mess in my room for two days now. It was really, really bad. My art was ripped from the walls and shredded, notebooks filled with my writing and poetry from highschool were torn apart and scattered, the drawers of my dressers were pulled out and dumped, my books were all over the place. I even found my grandmother's bible in a crumpled mess at the bottom of the pile. And the book case? Destroyed.

There's glass everywhere. And I think I have shards in my hands and feet still.

My dad keeps going on about how he's sure she feels real bad about it, but yesterday when she came home and saw my childhood piggy bank sitting broken on the table (my little sister was going to try to super glue it for me, to make me feel better. She's so sweet.) my mother dumped all the change out, took the money and threw it away.

Yeah. She's real remorseful over the whole thing.

Today is all about keeping mom happy apparently. My dad is going around talking in undertones about doing the laundry for her, and making sure to smile when she is around and not spending too much time watching TV or on the computer and make sure we watch out attitudes, and really Sarah, I know she was wrong to do what she did, but you just need to be the bigger person and swallow it blah blah blah. She's spoken to me twice today. Once to ask what did I think I was doing on the computer ("Writing." was my very short answer) and to ask if I had finished packing. ("No. Too busy cleaning.") Other than that we are both doing our hardest to pretend that the other person doesn't exist.

But during all this I have still managed to write some. This J2 story is past 7000 thousand words now, which makes it the longest one-shot story I've ever written. (Yay!) I'm still not finished with it though, and I seriously need a beta. Anyone interested?


aisalynn: (Default)


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